Strawberries and Cigarettes

Kabanata 8

Kabanata 8

The quick flicker of the lights from red, to green, to blue was making my head spin. It was cold, but I could feel sweat on my forehead and back. The thin fabric of my mini red dress clung to my skin. The whole club was buzzing. There were bodies pressed against bodies, hands on bodies, and lips on lips. I couldn’t even see past the thick cloud of smoke, but for some reason, it calmed me. Knowing that I was just some nameless, faceless girl inside this smoke.

Tumingin ako kina Harper na masayang nagsasayawan. Napangiti ako, I didn’t know I’d have this much fun in a place full of people. Hindi naman talaga ako dapat sasama, but I couldn’t take the silence of our house. Ni hindi ko na halos nakikita si Mommy dahil kung umalis ito ay maaga, at kung babalik naman, gabing-gabi na. Si Reese naman ay sumali sa jamboree—a one-week camping trip—leaving me alone in our usually loud and bright home. Hindi ako sanay. Kaya nung muli akong kinulit ni Harper kanina habang nasa school kami, wala na akong nagawa.

At wala naman talaga pala akong magagawa dahil paglabas namin sa gate ay hinila na niya ako papunta sa kanyang condo. I couldn’t even utter anything as she ushered me inside her Ruby-themed condo with a view of downtown Katipunan. She pushed me inside her bathroom and handed me a mini red dress. Naiwan na lamang nakadikit sa pinto ang isang kamay kong nakataas sa ere. I sighed defeatedly and fixed my gaze on the dress in my hands.

"Damn, Remy! Those curves are lethal!" Dinig kong ani Harper habang nakatayo ako sa harap ng kanyang malaking salamin.

"How are you so thick but so petite at the same time? Grabe ang favoritism! I mean, look at that waist-to-hip ratio!" Dagdag ani Harper. I bit my lips and tried to pull the dress lower.

"Oh no no! It's a mini dress, Miss Chinadoll! Don’t pull it down." Sabi ni Harper, at nakita ko sa repleksyon ng salamin na naglalakad na siya papalapit sa akin.

"I-I don’t think it fits me... Can we try something else?" I said awkwardly. Harper shook her head and encircled her left arm around my waist before bringing her face next to mine, making us cheek-to-cheek. Our eyes met in the mirror.

"It fits you, Remy. Usually, red is my go-to. My color. My friends know not to wear it if they know I’m coming. Pero sige, sa'yo muna. Ngayon lang. Sa BFF ko." she said seriously before smiling sweetly at me. I smiled warmly back at her.

"Now let me beat that face!" Masiglang aniya at hinila na ko kung saan—sa kanyang vanity table. I bit my lip as I saw myself in the vanity mirror. Harper’s makeup was scattered across the table. Oh, it will be a very long night.

"Remy, come on, let's dance!" Nabalik ako sa reyalidad nang madinig ang boses ni Harper. I felt her hands on my waist, guiding me to where they were dancing.

I wanted to say no, to go back to where I was inhabiting, babysitting my drink. But I was slowly but surely getting swayed by the people around me. They all looked so carefree, blissful even. Maybe I'll also feel that bliss. Thank you, alcohol, for the liquid courage. Irish and Siena—Harper’s girlfriend—both smiled excitedly when they saw us coming.

"Come here, pretty girls, we’re gonna show them who’s the star." Irish said before whipping her long golden brown hair back, making us all giggle.

"No, I’m the star!" Siena and Harper said, quoting a line I heard multiple times from Harper’s TikTok.

I was truly scared when Harper introduced me to them, but I was quickly put at ease when I realized that they were a carbon copy of Harper—sharp but soft around the edges. Irish was even the one who put false eyelashes on me using Siena's Falsies. Girl's girls, they both are. We all squealed when the lights flickered from blue to green before staying on red. If the song was loud earlier, now I could feel it in my lungs, in my bones. Pinikit ko ang mata ko at ninamnam ang katahimikang dala ng ingay.