let me know you're real | noyahina

04

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Nishinoya Yuu | Sept. 24; 12:12 a.m.

Click. Click. Click.

Beautiful.

There's a full moon tonight that perfectly captures Shouyou's calming, pure essence as he stares out the window of his car's passenger seat, his driver being the one driving the car.

I follow him with my headlights off and from a distance, still managing to capture that dazed look in his eyes through the window. It's much easier to snap pictures when he exits the car and makes his way to the door.

I waited half an hour simply waiting in my car and flipping through the photos I had taken. Some of them ended up blurry because I had almost swerved off the road taking them, but others were like they were straight out of a movie, and Shouyou made that possible.

I finally get out of the car and make my way around the large property, even climbing the wooden fence in the back to get a better view of the windows. There was a single one on the second floor, a very large window with the curtains pulled back, where I was able to see Shouyou sitting on his bed and flipping through the stack of photos again.

He didn't seem to be wanting to go to sleep anytime soon.

I watch him through my camera lens for half an hour, a bit uncomfortably in the bushes by the fence, snapping photo after photo after photo.

Until I stopped.

"What the hell am I doing?"

I stumbled back against the wooden posts, flabbergasted by my own actions. I take one last glance at my camera, then at Shouyou, and I make for my car again.

I can't believe I was just mindlessly stalking him. Why would I do that when he agreed to me taking photos of him?

As I walk down the street to my car, I contemplate, but all I hear is Shouyou's tantalizing voice in my head.

Maybe I did it because, like Shouyou, if I got permission for them, the essence would be different. Not a bad difference- nothing including Shouyou is bad- but something different.

I'm looking to encapture the mysterious aura around Shouyou. Something subtle, something soft. I'm looking to catch his guard down, to see that he is... real. Someone so flawless and doll-like with the ability to craft anything with his hands- How is someone so perfect actually real?

I fell asleep that night on the terms that I would find my answers tomorrow.

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Sept. 24; 4:15 p.m.

"Did you sleep alright last night, Noya?"

Shouyou's worried expression fills my heart to the brim with love for him.

"I-I ran a few errands after we parted ways last night! Uhm, I didn't get home until late, haha!"

My voice may have been too loud, but Shouyou didn't seem to mind. He may have understood that I was nervous about taking him to my apartment because, after our classes for today and our trip to take more pictures of strangers, he agreed to let me take some photos of him.

I wish I had cleaned my apartment.

The moment we enter, I rush to the kitchen table where I have all my newly-developed photos of him from my night activity sprawled out. It's unrelated right now, but I called my mom last night, who recently got into book-binding, and asked her to make me a book for all these photos. She also designed the cover for my first photography books as well.