Swept Away

14 - Colby

"Colby, honey, this isn't good for you."

"I know."

"If nothing changes in the next 24 hours, I'm going to have to take you to-"

"I know."

My mom takes a shaky breath, "Okay. Then I'm going to leave you alone. But when Danny comes knocking on your door in 2 hours, you better open that door for your friend."

"Okay."

She gets up off my bed and walks out of the room. I lie in bed, like I have been for the past 2 days, for the next hour and a half. I know the consequences of my actions. If I don't get up and go do something, then my parents will send me to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or even worse they will just plain admit me to a mental hospital, where I'll spend a week and then go back home to my loving parents and friends. I'll be much better, but not really. I'll be good for the time being.

There's a gentle knock on my door. Not Danny's typical style, but maybe he's learning how to deal with my shit better.

But Danny doesn't walk into my room when I say, "Come in." No, it's Juillet.

She walks in and closes the door behind herself, "Hi Colby," she whispers through the darkness.

I sit up in my bed. What is she doing here? She saunters over to my bed like she's been here before. She sits down next to me, expectantly. "Hi," I barely breathe out.

She smiles sweetly at me, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," I say putting on my best smile.

"Cole," she puts her hand on my cheek, "You don't have to pretend with me. How are you feeling?"

I shrug, looking down, "I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I shake my head.

"Do you want a hug?"

I almost broke down right there. It was the first time someone had asked me that in a long time. None of my friends usually hugged me. When they did, it was always in a moment of excitement. And my parents never asked if I wanted to be hugged, they just did it anyway. It was so simple, but the fact that Julie asked me, made me feel better than I had since the last time I saw her. "Yes," I let out a breath, "Please."

Her small arms wrap around my body in a way that makes me feel like she was made for me. I sink into her body and nuzzle my face into her neck.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she was combing her hands through my hair.

"No," I shook my head.

She took a deep breath, "Ok."

*******

I was officially the worst human being ever. I'm the person I told myself I was never going to be. I kissed Juillet and then completely ghosted her. And then because she's an absolute angel, she came and found me. And I didn't even tell her why I went awol. And she's not even my girlfriend yet. And she's probably not going to be. Not now anyway.

She laid in my bed, with her head on my chest for about 4 hours. We didn't talk, we didn't do anything, but just sit there. She must think I'm such an asshole. I don't even know what to tell her if she asked. I can't tell her that I kissed her and then had a panic attack which sent me into a spiral of depression.

I don't know how she would react to that. This isn't the type of thing that I want to put on someone else. Not only that, but again, she isn't my girlfriend. I don't even know if I want her to be my girlfriend. I don't know what she would say if I asked. 

But I can't worry too much about all of this or I will spiral again. So instead, I'm getting ready for my first shift in almost a week. 

*******

"'Sup Mr. Doc," I hear Danny say while I clock in. I run to the front of the store to go talk to my favorite resident of Collymore. 

"Mr. Doc!" I come out from behind the counter.

"Colby," he gives me a smile, "It's been a few days since I've seen you. I thought maybe you disappeared on me."

I laugh, "Why would I ever do that?"

"I thought maybe you had finally left the island," he adjusts his glasses, "Started your surf shop you've always dreamed of in Remington." 

The idea runs through my head. I could do that, but I want to go to school and get a business degree. "I would want to run the surf shop in Collymore, though," I tell him.

"Well, it is going to be the best damn surf shop this town has ever seen. I can't wait to see it," he grabs his mint chocolate chip ice cream from Danny. 

In my head, I know that Mr. Doc probably won't see my surf shop. The probability of him making it the next 4-6 years is slim. But the idea of him being around to see my creation is all that I could ever want. It makes me want to work hard and keep pushing forward everyday.

"Now, what about this girl I keep seeing you around town with?" he asks me with a knowing smile.

I lightly shake my head, "You mean Juillet? She's pretty cool."

"Pretty cool? Is that it?" 

"Yeah, I mean, she's amazing," I pause, "She keeps my head on straight."

Mr. Doc nods his head, "Then it sounds like she's perfect for you."

I feel one side of my mouth pull up, "I don't know about that one." The lie comes out so easily. I know she's perfect for me. I can't imagine any other girl in my life. Paige is too sweet, Mira's too busy, and Elle, well, Elle is too in love with Ren. So yeah, Juillet is probably the only girl for me.

"She speaks French," I blurt out.

"She speaks French?" He asks, clearly confused.

I reach back to scratch the back of my neck, "Uh, yeah, her family is from France, so she speaks fluent French."

"Well she sounds very interesting,"  he smiles, knowingly.

She is.

She's so special. I've never felt like this before.