A New Life [TbatexTensura] REWRITE!

Vol 1 Ch 7: The Howl of Wuthering Emotion

Rimuru POV:

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Anticipation- a feeling characterized by things like worry, anxiety, maybe even dread. In this moment I can't control the palpitations of my anxious heart sat in a limbo from anticipation. The rampant and violent firing of neurons in my mind as I search for any and all possible ways to get the answer I wish to hear. A slight tremble I can feel in my gaze as I stare hopefully yet also hopelessly at the Twin Horns as a whole.

It's a lovely feeling. It's like a rampaging gale of howling, wuthering winds. A violent mess of possibilities and probabilities, even as I faced death itself such feelings never occurred to me. My mind, body, and soul never breathed anticipation bordering on desperation like I was now.

I'm not sure myself how I appear in the eyes of the Twin Horns– in the eyes of Jasmine. I could only pray, hope, and desire that made eyes despite the subtle tremble to them radiate a hunger like no other- one only satiated by feeding an empty wasteland- an abyss devoid of all aspects of life, all of life itself.

I can only take a subtle narrowing of my gaze as a show of my will and intent. Though that as an action remains fruitless. I'm a child in their eyes, I'm the definition of a liability.

Tugging at their heartstrings and attempting a seemingly arrogant display of confidence and resolute will wouldn't help me. An unwavering gaze only means so much from one so bereft of development, experience, and growth.

My hand grasping Jasmine's pant leg likely didn't help my case but my mind didn't want to let go, holding her pant leg gave me a semblance of comfort. We locked eyes for an instant, a moment so short I couldn't grasp her emotions, her thoughts, and feelings.

This didn't help the anxiety consuming my being.

"Rimuru-" It was a single word somewhat guilt-ridden that escaped Angela's slightly pursed lips, a gentle hand on her shoulder from Durden helping her catch herself. The silent conversation between the Horn's continued.

'I'll accept reality' I knew deep down that my resolute thought was nothing but a lie. I knew, I knew with no room for questioning. I wouldn't readily accept being denied the reality I wished for. Even if it meant drawing the meager amount of aether I recovered after laying awake all night, I would escape the possible grasp of them to experience these endless glades filled with beasts and perilous dangers around every corner.

Unconsciously I grasped at my chest tightly, more accurately my shirt, an action I hadn't realized I'd taken as my unconscious mind and desires followed the will of my very soul without a second to contemplate. Though I was aware of the look, my expression in this moment radiated as I saw my reflection in the pupil of Adam's sharp gaze; insanity, insatiable hunger for knowledge, and a look reminiscent of one who's gazed into a fathomless abyss- only to have his gaze returned.

The veritable smirk that crossed my face for a split second before my conscious mind realized my unconscious actions was one I'd only seen from those who thought they'd found the very depths of the dark, finally reaching a light unlike they and anyone else ever bore witness too.

My appearance in the reflection from his pupils expressed more than I wanted to express.

It expressed...too much.

The look in Adam's eyes as our gazes met for but a moment was one of horrid realization. His surprise and wary flicker of his gaze spoke of a silent realization of the insanity shown in another person's eyes.

In his eyes at the moment, I looked like a rampant veritable monster waiting for the time to take hold of what it desired.

The lapse in my judgment and awareness of my own body left me distraught somewhat, but more than anything- beyond any shadow of doubt I felt embarrassed. I'd expressed a side to me I wished to never show to anyone.