MY SUNSHINE stray kids

9 - bluebird

It was 8 in the evening, and Kyo was on the floor. 

He didn't remember how he ended up there—just that he was. His breaths were slow and even, his heart maintaining a steady rhythm as if mocking the stillness of the rest of his body, which remained eerily motionless, almost lifeless.

The only evidence of life was the gentle rise and fall of his chest, a rhythmic movement that felt disconnected from the emptiness within him. He stared blankly at the wall in front of him, his mind void of any thoughts except for the persistent, aching feeling lodged deep in his chest. It was a feeling without cause, without reason, but it consumed him entirely.

The room was silent, and Kyo hated the quiet. The stillness allowed his thoughts to invade too quickly, leaving him defenseless against the flood of emotions he tried so hard to keep at bay.

Maybe he could listen to some music, but his phone was dead, and the thought of getting up to charge it felt like an impossible task. Perhaps he could talk to someone, reach out for comfort, but speaking required too much energy, and he didn't want to be a burden. He considered finding a book to read, but it was too dark, the kind of darkness that suffocated the desire to do anything at all.

Yet, Kyo liked the dark. It was a refuge, a way to escape the harsh reality that awaited him in the light. In the dark, he didn't have to be perfect; no one could see the cracks in his facade. The darkness concealed everything, hiding his flaws, his fears, his pain. It made everything easier—talking, sleeping, even pretending to love. The darkness wrapped him in its comforting embrace, and for a moment, he could let go of the pretense, let go of everything.

But even the darkness couldn't erase the weight in his chest, that hollow, aching sensation that gnawed at him from the inside. Kyo lay there, trapped in the void of his own making, unable to move, unable to think beyond the pain that had no name.

Hours passed in a blur, the darkness outside beginning to fade into the soft gray of dawn. Kyo remained on the floor, his body numb, his mind drifting in and out of consciousness. He wasn't sure if he had slept or simply existed in that space between wakefulness and sleep, where time lost all meaning.

It wasn't until the door creaked open, letting in a sliver of light from the hallway, that Kyo stirred slightly. He heard the muffled sound of voices, footsteps shuffling into the room. The other members were back from their dinner, their laughter and chatter filling the space as they returned to the dorm.

"Kyo?" The sound of his name, soft but concerned, pierced through the fog in his mind. It was Chan, his voice laced with worry. 

"Kyo, are you okay?"

Kyo blinked, slowly turning his head towards the door where the others stood. Their faces were etched with concern as they took in the sight of him on the floor, pale and distant.

"Kyo, what's going on?" Felix's voice trembled slightly, his brows knitting together as he took a cautious step closer.

Kyo opened his mouth to respond, but the words stuck in his throat. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus, to push through the haze that clouded his mind, "I'm fine," he finally whispered, his voice hoarse and unconvincing.

"You don't look fine," Seungmin said softly, his eyes scanning Kyo's face for any sign of what was wrong.

"I'm just tired," Kyo lied, managing to sit up with some effort. His limbs felt heavy, like they were weighted down by invisible chains. He could see the worry etched in their faces, and it made his chest tighten even more.