William blinked, in an attempt to comprehend the message the screen had displayed.
"William was forced to eat cement as a child"
"Well, now we know why you're so 'hard-hearted'," Victoria smirked.
The pun made Mike grin as well. CC had lost control of his laughter ages ago, even before they started this little 'experiment'. Elizabeth, as always, was neutral.
William read over the lines a few more times, yet the more he read them, the less sense they seemed to make.
"I shall have you know, this is simply untrue," he said finally, leaning back in the chair in which he was sitting.
"Why don't we try another one with you?" Mike asked.
"Sure, why not?" William answered, clicking on the "Create Headcanon" button.
"William wakes up on November 1st and starts decorating for Christmas."
"Well, we know that's not true," Victoria said. "He starts decorations on 26th December, and takes them down the next day."
William shrugged. "I just don't see the point of any of it. Anyway, whose turn now?"
CC's hand shot up. "Ooh! Me! Me!"
William typed in CC's name and clicked the button.
"Dave is an extrovert."
"I suppose that's true now," Mike said, ruffling CC's hair. CC smiled up at him.
Their father clicked the button again.
"Dave doesn't own a single pair of matching socks."
"How come both of CC's statements are true?" William asked, not expecting an answer.
"Hey! I have a pair of matching socks. I'm wearing them right now!"
"Oh really? Because one has polka dots and the other is striped," William pointed out. CC pouted at him.
"Fine, whatever. Mummy's next!"
William typed in his ex-wife's name.
"Victoria is awful with kids."
"IS NOT!" Mike, CC and Elizabeth exclaimed at the same time. Victoria beamed at them, lovingly. William held back a chuckle at the irony before clicking again.
"Victoria cringes at their middle school yearbook photos."
"That is definitely true, though," she sighed, blushing slightly upon recalling her 'goth' phase at the time. William laughed before typing in his daughter's name.
"Elizabeth can drive."
Mike melodramatically let his jaw drop as CC giggled at the top of his lungs.
"Lizzy can WHAT!?" the younger cried.
Elizabeth shrugged. "Further proof that I'm the smartest of the three of us," she said, mechanically.
CC tried to keep up an offended face, but the laughter wouldn't let him. William clicked the button again.
"Elizabeth is not allowed to drink energy drinks."
"Makes sense, considering that she's five," Mike commented, though no one asked. "Although, if she can drive, I don't see why she couldn't."
"Thank you for the permission. Maybe I'll drink them when I need to fly over a cliff or something," Elizabeth said. "Red Bull gives you wings and all that."
Mike patted her ginger head as William typed in his name.
"Michael believes in Santa."
"What is that supposed to mean? Is he not supposed to?" CC asked, frowning.
Victoria and Michael exchanged an anxious look.
"Of course he is," William butted in. "And he does, too. It's just that some people who're on the Naughty List refuse to believe that Santa exists. Mike's not one of them."
Michael nodded, shooting William a grateful smile. He might not have been very fond of his father, but it didn't mean he couldn't at least be nice.
William clicked the button again.
"Michael got hit by a bus once."
Okay. No one was expecting that.
After a second or two of confused silence, everyone burst into laughter. Well, except Elizabeth.
"Is that why you always took your bike instead of the bus?" Victoria asked, jokingly.
"Y'know, I don't know why I even took my bike when I could've just 'run over'. Maybe I was too 'bus'-y to think about it. Well, I guess after that incident, I had something in common with my bones: we were both 'broke'. Hey, if I ended up as roadkill, could I be served A La 'Car'-d? Do you--"
"Okay, Jeez-Louise, Mike, enough car-crash puns!" William interrupted. Mike glared at him but said nothing.
"I think that's enough for today," Victoria said. "I've gotta go make dinner!"
So saying, she trotted out the room. Soon, the others followed suit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXTRAS
Apparently, Henry was also forced to eat cement as a child. Makes sense, considering he and William grew up in the same foster home.
He also has a stuffed animal under his bed.
Charlie hacks her stats in every video game she plays. Basically, she's a cheater.
Also, she's the middle child, with Sammy as the eldest and some unknown entity as the youngest.
While we're on the topic of Sammy, he also hacks his stats on every video game he plays.
Also, he is really bad at saying tongue twisters.
Cassidy is bisexual. Even though she's a kid who's too young for relationships anyway. (It felt so illegal to type that OMG--)
She is also in your house.
Susie cringes at her middle school yearbook photos, though she never made it to middle school.
She is also a very good singer :D.
Gabriel is notorious for loud knuckle-cracking. And he almost drank a lethal dosage of caffeine.
Jeremy junior reads ao3 (WHY GENERATOR!? WHYYY!?!?!?!?)
He also forgets to eat sometimes.
Fritz is a cat person and, much like a cat, he sleeps until noon.
Jeremy Fitzgerald has a Mary Sue OC, named Mary Sue, who likes to marry and sue. (Only the first part of the sentence was generated). He also had an emo phase at some point.
Phone Guy lacks a pair of matching socks, and he can't make the voices go away. (Someone help poor Phonie, please...)
Your dear, favorite creator Starlight (me), has apparently been to prison... even though she's 14... (what the actual heck...?)
I also bully kids on Roblox. Even though I've never played Roblox. (why does the generator think I'm evil, bro?)
And lastly, our dear Scott Cawthon himself is very good at using chopsticks, and knocks over people by hugging them, which is a strangely wholesome and terrifying ability.
[Bonus for Michael: He's very good at walking in platform heels.]
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One Shots at Freddy's
FanficRandom one-shots, mostly with the Aftons, which I'll write when I'm bored.
