You'll Never Be Alone

Chapter 4

TW: suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, abuse

MADDIE'S POV

"Taylor?" I ask after a few minutes in silence.

"What's up sweetie?" Taylor asks, looking back over at me.

"Do I have to go back to his house?" I whisper.

"Mads, I don't know. If we can get you out of it that would be amazing. If you want you can come to my house when you're discharged from the hospital. And we can try to find you a better home." Taylor says.

"Okay," I whisper. I start to cry and I don't even know why. Taylor wraps her arms around me and holds me. "I'm sorry." I say after a minute.

"Don't be sorry sweetie," Taylor says softly. We sit with each other for a few minutes before Easton walks in.

"Hey Mads! How are you?" Easton says walking over to my bed.

"Fine," I say. Easton hugs me and he sits down on my bed on the other side of me.

"I'll leave you to be. Let me know what you want to do sweetie," Taylor says, hugging me one more time. I nod and Taylor leaves.

"I'm sorry Easton. I didn't want you to find me. Especially like that," I say looking down.

"You should've told me Maddie. I would've helped you," Easton says. "I'm sorry if I did anything."

"It wasn't you, Easton. I promise. There was so much going on. I couldn't take life anymore. I hate the house I'm in, I hate feeling like this, I hate being in pain, I hate that I'm in the hospital, I hate that I'm still alive!" I cry. I start to sob.

"Mads, Mads, it's okay. Do you want me to get Taylor?" Easton asks. Easton gets up and I lay down sobbing, facing the opposite direction from the door. Taylor walks in and sits down on the bed.

"Maddie, it's okay. I'm right here. Did something happen? Are you okay?" Taylor asks.

"I'm fine, and that's the problem! I shouldn't be fine! I don't want to be alive. I can't do it!" I shout and cry harder.

TAYLOR'S POV

Maddie starts to cry even harder and I wrap my arms around her.

"Don't say that Mads. You are so loved. You are so beautiful. You are so amazing. You deserve to be alive. We can get out of this. I'm right here. I'm not leaving," I say. Maddie buries her face in my shoulder and cries. "I know you don't want to be here. I know it's so hard for you. I can help you get better. You don't have to feel like this anymore." The nurse walks in.

"She can be discharged if someone is here to bring her home."

"Okay, thank you so much. I'll bring her home. Thank you!" I say. I slowly pull Maddie off of me and she stops crying. She looks up at me with sad eyes. "Aw Mads, it's okay, we're going home. I'm taking you home." Maddie nods and wipes her eyes. I grab my bag and Maddie's phone and we get in my car. I'm starting the car up when someone comes pounding on the window. Maddie tenses up in fear and I see her start to cry.

"Madison Eloise! You are not getting in the car with some random woman! You stupid bitch! You're going to regret this! I'll make you pay when you get back home Madison!" The man yells, who I later learned was named Max. I quickly drive home and I turn to Maddie. She's staring out the window crying.

"Maddie. Is he the guy?" I softly ask. Maddie slowly nods and looks over at me.

"I shouldn't be here. It'll just be worse when I get back home. I'm sorry." Maddie says.

"You can't go back home. The fact that it will be worse when you get home, isn't okay. We can talk to a lawyer or my manager about the home situations and all of that. We can find somewhere else for you to go." I say. Maddie looks away and nods. We get to my house and I walk Maddie to her room. "Dinner will be in an hour, do you want anything specific?" Maddie shrugs.

"I'm not hungry."
"I don't care you're eating." I say strictly. Maddie nods.

"Just some fruit I guess," Maddie says. I nod. I walk to the kitchen and make a fruit salad and sandwich for Maddie. I bring it back to Maddie's room and she ignores it. I sit on her bed. Maddie looks up at me.

"Taylor I can't." Maddie says.

"Just a little bit Maddie. All of the fruit and a little sandwich."

"Taylor-" Maddie starts. I shake my head and she shuts up. She slowly starts to eat. She eats a little bit and jumps up.

"Maddie, Maddie no!" I say pulling her away from the toilet.

"Taylor! Stop!" Maddie says, starting to sob. I pull her away from the toilet.

"You can't throw up Mads. You can't," I say, keeping her away from the toilet. Maddie tries to pull herself free but she eventually stops. "Mads. You can't throw up. I know it's hard. You're just going to get worse though."

"I don't care! I don't care if I get worse!" Maddie says burying her face in my arms.

"You have to try Mads. You cannot give up. I'm here to support you. I love you so much Maddie. I really do."

"I don't care if I get worse," Maddie repeats. I run my fingers through her hair.

"You have to care though. Please just try to get better. For me, for your cousin, for your best friend."