Daughter of the Devil

Chapter 2

 Later that night, I met Will at his house. His father, Henry, didn't look surprised to see me. He never was. Will and I weren't supposed to meet. But we did anyway.

Henry was a farmer. Always had been. And always would be.

I know little of Henry's life. I know that he got married when Will's mother, Iris, was seventeen. I know Iris gave birth to Will a little over a year later and died in childbirth. I know Iris left behind her wedding ring. I know that she wanted Will to give it to his wife. And I know his father never remarried.

Henry was a man of few words. He almost never spoke, and when he did, it was never more than three words at a time. He was devoted, that much I do know. But in a silent kind of way, giving up all his words, actions, and possessions to God. He simply gave up all kinds of control, entrusting that his faith would take care of the rest. If there is a heaven, that is where he went.

Will never spoke of his father. As far as I know, the two never spoke at all. Henry was begrudgingly proud of his son's exploration into the military. But he never said it. He didn't say much of anything after his wife's passing.

Sometimes people talk of Henry when gossip is slow. They'll talk about his supposed lack of emotion. They'll say his wife's death broke him. I have even heard it said that he blamed his son for his wife's absence. I know so little about Henry, but I do know that he cherished Will more than anything else in this world.

I know nothing about Iris. I know only that she existed for eighteen short years and then died. I know only that she had a son. I know only that she lived her life as she was supposed to, and died in an acceptable fashion for a woman. I knew, even then, that I didn't want to be her duplicate.

Will and I simply walked. Before we could talk. We could talk for hours. We could sing songs. We could discuss the world. But now that we were engaged it was different. And we walked in silence.

I couldn't put a word to the feeling. But I felt something. And it wasn't pleasant. I know now that it was anger.

I couldn't put a word to it because I wasn't allowed to feel it. I wasn't allowed to acknowledge it. I wasn't allowed to be anything but happy and excited.

But I was angry. I was angry at Will for agreeing to marry me without talking to me first. I was angry that Henry, Will, and Birsha had put this engagement on me with no warning. I was envious of Will and his ability to make decisions. I was angry I was born a woman and not a man. I was angry at the world. I was angry at God. And I wasn't allowed to show it. Because my anger had no right to exist.

The path was familiar. We had walked it so many times. I was the one to discover it. When I was six and he was seven. I was the one to walk it first. I was the one who showed it to Will. That first time, I led him. I was in front. But he didn't like me being in front. Too dangerous, he said. I could fall. I could get bitten by a snake along the path. Much safer, he argued, for him to go first. I argued back. That the same things could happen to him. And besides, I was the one to find it. I knew where I was going.

"I'll be fine" his little chest puffed out proudly. "I'm stronger than you. And besides, it's my job to protect you."

I didn't want to go second. But the path wasn't big enough for the two of us to walk side by side. So he went first. And I gave directions from behind him. Even then, he was taller than me, and his shoulders blocked my view.

Ever since then, he has gone first, though the path is now big enough for us to walk side by side if we wanted. But it wasn't worth the argument. Because it would never be an argument I would win.

So I followed Will out of habit, all the while simmering with rage that I couldn't express or acknowledge.

It was March. The cold, wet month where Ridland was supposed to be moving into spring. When the ground was still frozen but it no longer snowed. When the soil crunched under your shoes but you could go outside without fear of freezing to death. Usually.