Daughter of the Devil

Chapter 11

 One month after arriving in Onia, I was given something I had never had before. A bag of money. Mara shoved it ungracefully in my hands and walked away without another word. I had to ask Solon about it. What was I supposed to do with the money?

I'll never forget his confused face. "Whatever you want. It's yours to use however you see fit."

We went back and forth a few more times before I understood. I had been enlisted in the Onian military. That meant that they paid me—not much, mind—but enough. Once I actually started fighting for them, I would earn more.

From that point on, I was given 500 marks every month. For a long while, I didn't spend any of it. Then I slowly started buying clothes that I liked. Hair products. And finally, weapons. Daggers mostly. They became my weapon of choice.

About two months after arriving in Onia, Kelsa looked at me strangely. We were sitting in the library playing cards while Irene and Solon read books. We had just finished our game in a narrow tie and were preparing for another round when she suddenly became fascinated with my face.

"Do you want a haircut?" she asked out of the blue. "I could give you one for free, if you want."

"When did you learn how to do that?" I asked.

She shrugged. "When I was younger my mother liked my hair long so she could braid it. I didn't like my hair like that, so I taught myself to cut hair. I got pretty good at it after a while."

"It's true," Solon interjected. "She's not half bad. You could do a lot worse."

"Awww, thanks Sol," Kelsa said sweetly before turning back to me. "So do you want one?"

I nodded. "Sure."

My hair had grown until it was to the middle of my back. I hadn't even noticed. When she did cut it a few days later, Kelsa made it fall just past my shoulders. Solon had been right. It did look good.

But I discovered that I actually preferred it long. I liked styling it. I thought it looked pretty.

In Ridland, long hair signals status. Long hair signals beauty. Long hair is feminine. Long hair is beautiful. Blonde hair signals purity. Blonde hair signals innocence. Blonde hair signals cleanliness. Blonde hair is pretty. Long, blonde hair is beautiful. I kept it not just because I wanted another reminder of home, but because I liked it that way. I found it beautiful in different ways. I found it even more beautiful with imperfections. Dirt and mud that ruined it at first, but when the light color shone through, it was beautiful.

It became normal for Solon, Kelsa, Irene, and I to chat in the library. The books were a revelation to me. I learned from them. I learned that the war that I had always been told had lasted 400 years was actually a series of smaller wars, pocketed with times of peace. A cycle of building and destruction.

I learned that Onia had tried to achieve peace several times, but each time, Ridland had sent the head of the messenger back to the palace. After so long, they would no longer waste the lives of innocent messengers. It was decided that if long-lasting peace talks would ever be possible, Ridland would have to be the one to initiate it.

I learned that few Selten have ever made it out of Bellinor after being caught. If there was a chance to escape or be rescued, it must be done before reaching the city walls. After that, chances of survival are less than 1%. A brutal reality. '

I learned that of the fifteen Waterbringers that have ever escaped the City of Light and safely made it back to Onia, twelve never regained their powers. Only one is currently alive.

I learned why it is so hard to use Waterbringer powers after being waterboarded. The brain learns to fear water. It learns to cringe away from its touch and avoid it at all costs. The brain forgets that it can control this element, and panics. The fear can manifest itself in many ways, including nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation, and more. This is called post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. My brain could not understand what I had been through, so I relived that experience over and over. But when I actively chose to relive it, when I chose to use the marble, it got better.