Just Best Friends

Chapter Seven

So I caught myself.
I think.
Because I don't know him all that well, plus he could be full of shit.
He says that he isn't.
But I don't know him well enough to know better.
My mind was playing tug of war with itself again.
I feel like all he wants to do is find a little part of me that he can't break and pull apart because he's already broken me in the past.
And not for all bad reasons.
I think I might just be breaking my own heart now.
It didn't help that ever since the fight me and Chase had, Chase won't even look at me.
Which is also shattering me to pieces.
And Ryan is still being cutesy but I don't have feelings for him anymore. I wish I had the heart and the guts to tell him that.
Then there's Danny. Still texting me and using too many winky faces.
I don't think that'll ever stop.
Now I'm just tugging on my own heart strings and letting boys control my feelings.
Ten year old me would slap the almost sixteen year old me I am now.
Then again, ten year old me didn't know about circumstances like this and ten year old me didn't know boys could be so stupid and ten year old me didn't know that high school would be so difficult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day was brutal.
And that was an understatement.
Chase wouldn't look at me, and when he did, it was always with disgust.
Ryan was becoming distant and more friendly than flirty.
Ruben was slowly becoming a big part of my life whether I liked it or not.
Amelia was pissed at me for snapping at her and not listening to her and Chase.
And Jessie could barely keep up.
I'm just surprise that I myself can keep up.
I didn't sign up for this drama.
I didn't sign up for boy drama.
I didn't sign up for my best friend not talking to me.
I didn't sign up to be close with one of the biggest assholes in my grade-even though he really isn't that much of an asshole!
I didn't sign up for my friends to be pissed at me.
I didn't sign up for any of this.

Honestly? I was starting to feel numb and out of it.
It was scaring me.
And I couldn't even turn to the people I trust the most.
I don't wanna tell my mom, I don't want her to worry about me.
I'm fine.
Just...I don't know...going through some things?
Working out the kinks in my life?
I don't know anymore.
But I'm starting to feel dumb about feeling this way because of why I'm feeling this way.
Which sucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time lunch came around I didn't feel like eating.
So I just pushed the food around on my plate as Ruben rambled on about Every Avenue.
"I mean it sucks! The guy has such a great voice-even if he did smoke. He's such a good person too. I really miss those guys. I never got to see them in concert." He sighed.
He rambles like this often and it's adorable.
It also made my bad mood slightly better.
Okay, a lot better.
"I have to agree. And I never got to see them live either." I pouted, "but my sister did! She almost met them." I huffed.
"No way! She's so fucking lucky. Ugh. If I could go back in time I would definitely go to one of their concerts." He laughed.
"Well you'd have to take me." I giggled.
"Otherwise it just wouldn't be fair."
"It wouldn't be." He laughed harder. "Then we'd have to go to a Nirvana concert and go further back in time."
"Oh my god absolutely! We'd make the best of time traveling abilities."
"We really would," he smiled directly at me.
Then Chase slammed down his tray and sat on the other side of me, but he didn't look at me.
I sighed, "any other bands we'd have to see?" I laughed slightly.
He thought for a second, "I'll have to get back to you on that one." He smirked.
He was melting my heart as if it was an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
Part of me wanted him to stop so I don't get my heart broken in the end.
But the majority was practically exploding of happiness because he was flirting with me and I was falling for him.
I just hoped he was falling for me.
"Well, tell me when you think of something." I winked.
Whoa, whoa since when did I have confidence around boys that weren't Chase?
Weird.
Speaking of Chase, he angrily ate his food.
I could tell that he was ferociously eating his food because I could hear him stabbing at his Mac n cheese and stubbornly gritting the fork through his teeth.
Also? He kept scoffing and whenever I looked in his direction he'd just roll his eyes.
"So have you heard of The Summer Set?" I asked as I nibbled on sandwich.
"Yes! I love those guys too. Honestly, Brian is the reason I started loving How I Met Your Mother." He blushed.
Another thing that he did that's adorable.
What am I saying everything he does is adorable.
"Really?" I smiled.
"Yeah..."
"Well same sorta!" I giggled, "Except my brother sorta did too. He made me watch it with him all the time before he left for college. Except it wasn't too hard to make me watch it, I watched it voluntarily 99.99999% of the time." I giggled again.
"Really? That's so cool!" He smiled, "But only 99.99999% of the time?" He smirked.
"Hey! A girls gotta watch Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!" I laughed.
"You watch that too?"
"Who doesn't?"
"My sister. She hates it. But I love it."
"How do you hate the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?" I gawked.
"That's what I tell her every time she refuses to watch it!" He laughed slightly, "Sometime you'll have to come over and help me convince her how great it is."
He just asked me to hang out. Basically.
Oh my god.
"Oh we can do this. We'll team up and make her fall in love with it." I laughed.
"That would be a lot of fun. What do you say about coming to my house after school? Plus you could help me with my Spanish since I don't really understand it and you seem to understand it really well." He blushed.
"I'd love to!" I smiled.
"Cool!" He smiled triumphantly, "I'll see you next class." He winked and walked off with his other friends as they walked by.
Chase then just laughed.
I turned to him bitterly, "what's so funny?"
"Studying? For Spanish? God it would be more obvious if you guys were both in French." He scoffed.
Now everyone was listening again.
And I mean everyone at our table and in the area.
"What do you mean?" I spat.
He just laughed again, "that's obviously his way of getting in your pants. He's making his move. Just make sure you make your next one carefully."
"Excuse me? You think he's just using me as a booty call?" I sputtered, confused and furious.
"Isn't it obvious? He's clearly using you and you're falling for it because you think he's hot. I can tell by the way you look at him. When you fall for him and he breaks your heart, don't come crying to me." He huffed, pushing his tray away from him.
"Whoa there Chase. You need to take a chill pill." Amelia warned him, knowing I was getting pissed off.
He just laughed off Amelia's comment.
"Hey Chase?" I said sweetly.
Amelia and Jessie gave each other a look that screamed "uh oh."
He perked up at the sound of me not sounding pissed and turned to me, "Yeah Lyla?"
I stood up, "you know how you always rant about the asshole guys in our school?" I batted my eyelashes as if nothing was wrong.
"Well duh." He laughed. "Where are you going with this?"
"You'll see in a few seconds," Jessie whispered, clearly terrified about what was about to happen.
I grabbed his drink from his tray, "Well you're currently acting like more of an asshole than the rest of them combined." I slammed the cup down, the liquid splattering over Chase and the table and then I stormed off.
A bunch of guys around the area were laughing, Jessie was cringing, Amelia looked smug and happy that it had happened, the rest of the table looked terrified, and Chase?
He looked confused and really hurt.
Which sucks because I never wanted to hurt him.
But he was hurting me.
Ruben must of seen me storm away, clearly knowing I was upset, and quickly jumped up from the other side of the cafeteria and followed me out.
He grabbed my wrist and spun me around, worry filling his eyes. "Everything okay?"
I shook my head, on the verge of tears because I was really hurt by what Chase had said to me.
Ruben pulled me into a big hug. It was nice and warm, comforting. It made me feel safe.
Like nothing in this world could ever hurt me ever.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry." He hugged me even closer.
How could a guy who obviously cares a lot about me even if we've only been close for a few days only want to use me to get in my pants?
It just didn't make sense. Not at all.
I sighed and pulled away slightly to wipe my eyes but he beat me to it.
God, why was he so perfect?
"Don't be sorry." I sniffled, "You aren't the one who made me this upset."
"Yeah, but you don't deserve to be this upset."
He pulled away and squeezed my hand, starting to walk with me to English.
"Will you sit by me again?" I sniffled and wiped my eyes, calming down a lot.
"Of course!" He smiled, wiping another tear away that had slipped out of my eye without my knowing.
By the time we had gotten to the classroom I had completely calmed down and I wasn't crying.
Other people in the hallway noticed that we were holding hands and standing very close to each other, there was a lot of whispering.
But honestly? I didn't care.
Not one little bit.
And I could tell that Ruben didn't either.
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At the end of the day I was so glad to be going home with Ruben. He was the only thing that had made my day not shitty.
He walked up to my locker shortly after Spanish and smiled bigger than a little kid on Christmas morning.
"Ready to go?" He piped.
"Yep!" I giggled as I slung my bag over my shoulder, quickly tucking my textbooks farther into my locker so I could close it, and then I closed it.
He quickly grabbed my hand and helped me weave through the crowds of students in the hallways out to his car.
"Thanks." I muttered awkwardly once we got to his big, aqua blue truck.
It looked really old, basically vintage. It was really cool.
"Well I wouldn't wanna lose you in the crowd, would I?" He winked and got in the car. I smiled and bit my lip as I got into the car.
"You mind if I put on some music?" He laughed.
"Well considering we have the same taste in music, I don't mind at all!" I laughed.
He grabbed a mixtape and put it in the slot, smiling as he did so. "I love this mixtape I made. As soon as my Uncle Brad let me have this car I've been making one every weekend." He smiled.
"Really?" I beamed.
That was just one more thing to adore about him.
"Yeah!" He smiled even more, turning up the volume when Legendary started off the drive, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he wheeled out of the parking lot with ease.
I happily hummed along to the song, wanting to sing along but nervous to sing in front of him.
Even if we did share music together where he heard me sing every day.
Oh well.
I gasped when the next song came on, knowing exactly what it was after hearing the first chord blast through the speakers.
"You listen to The Maine?" I beamed.
"Who doesn't?" He shrugged and turned it up, smiling at me, then he turned his attention back to driving.
I couldn't help but sing along happily, loving every second of it.
I practically shouted the chorus;
Oblivion is where I'm headed
My mind is on the brink of going supernova
Just shut up,
That's when she said it.
She told me just shut up and drink your Diet Soda.
"You're a good singer, did you know that?" He smiled at me.
"Thanks," I blushed.
"You're welcome. You have a really pretty voice. I like it a lot." He smiled at me again.
God, I am falling so hard for this boy.
If you would've told me that a week ago I would've laughed in your face.
I probably would've cried I'd be laughing so hard.
Then Even If She Falls by blink-182 started blasting through the speakers.
It didn't really feel like much of a coincidence.
He gasped, "I fucking love this song!"
"Me too!" I squealed.
Then we both sang along and jammed out the entire time.
It felt perfect.
If you asked me to think of what pure happiness feels like,
I'd tell you about that moment. That car ride.
I'm falling. Falling hard. And there's no going back now.