Hidden Fox

Twenty-Five

That hope lasted one day. Iris and I both got it bad the next. By the end of it, we were both physically on our hands and knees dragging ourselves into the cells. Every part of me was sore, but the hot spots included my ribs and my left leg; one look at my calf and my torso rose bile in my throat. My face hurt too, but without mirrors, I had no idea what it looked like.

As I laid there, defeat hit me in the chest with a pang. I had tried planning an escape many times over the months, but none of the ideas resulted in getting everyone out, and there was no way I could live with myself if I left even one of them here to suffer.

My brain was getting foggier, but I still held onto my name, and my mate's face. Once in a while an image of my siblings would slip through, or the house I lived in. It was enough to know I still had myself, even though I couldn't remember my pack's name, or the way mountains looked. Kallie helped, remembering what I told her once in every detail. If I needed a reminder that my name was April, not Aralia, she told me. Because of the stories I told her during our cleaning duties, I was able to hang on a little longer to the pieces of myself that were drifting away.

It had to be something in the air, or something in the needles they poked us with that made us forget, kept our minds fuzzy. I could only pray that it would come back to us once we were out in the fresh air.

The next time I cleaned, I noticed the snow that had piled up against the basement hopper windows recently was gone, and it was my only indication of how long it had been. I could guess maybe March, April even? I wasn't familiar enough with the area to know how long winter lasted here. All I could do was guess.

I wondered if I had been presumed dead yet.

I sighed, leaning against the cell wall, wishing it would happen. Preferably sooner than later! I thought with a glare up to the ceiling, imagining I was staring right into Selene's eyes. Eventually I slumped back and let my eyes flutter closed.

The next day, I found myself in one of the exam rooms, sitting on a chair with the doctor and Ian across from me on the couch. It was much like that first day I was here.

"Can I know what you've discovered?" I asked for the hundredth time that week. I had been begging for the information they'd been collecting all that time. If I were to get out of there alive, I wanted to take something with me I could use. I vaguely recalled the advice that I should journal my findings and submit to the queen someday. Though, I couldn't navigate my memories well enough to know who had told me that.

Dr. Brinn glanced at the wolf beside her. She hugged her clipboard to her chest as if I might try to steal it from her grasp. I just laughed at her.

All my previous fears had all but completely gone out the window. I didn't care if I mocked them or laughed at them anymore. I'd already experienced all the consequences they tended to dish out to us, so the worst they could do was kill me. After the months I'd suffered in that basement, I would welcome Selene's arms around me.

"What's the harm?" Ian said finally, his voice low and directed at the pack doctor. "If she does the information goes to the grave. If she doesn't, she'll forget everything eventually anyway."

I nodded dramatically, agreeing with everything he said as if I had a say in the final decision.

He shot me a glare and I just smirked.