The Hunger Games: Tears and joys of the papergirl

Strategy (5)

I still wanted to cry. My mind was swirling with names and grotesque images of dying children. I didn't cry though. I had to toughen up to go into the arena, and I really hated it. People didn't like me, but they noticed my purity and my gentleness. Attributes that made my mind come up with beautiful stories and poems and imaginary worlds. But the games were going to take it away. In fact, they already have. Because me only saying I was prepared to kill, made the child inside me fade away, because I was still 15. People seemed to forget that, but I was. And I wanted to protect the child inside me. But I was not a child anymore. Not now that I would have to kill other children. Not now that I was going to kill other children. The only thing my mind could come up with right now, was gruesome imagery of people suffering and breathe their last breath

A few tears escaped my eyes, as I was still thinking about Teak. I had to get him out of my head. I decided to think about something else. Something happier. I could do that. And I did it pretty well. Until I hear a knock on the door of my room. Well, not my room. The one in the training center. Although, I have to admit, I laughed slightly as I thought that this bed was so soft I was almost thankful I got chosen for the hunger games.

Almost.

"No~!" I answered. I was in no mood to talk to anyone, I just got better. Also I didn't really feel like getting off my bed. I mean, I wanted enjoy this luxury shit the capitol has before I'm forced to sleep on a tree or something in the arena.

I heard, not a knock this time, but three loud bangs on the door. I groaned. Why, were my possible last days like this?! I opened the door and, surprise, surprise it was Fletch. I was not in the mood to deal with him. So I did what any teenage girl would do.

I gave him the finger and slammed the door in his face.

Of course he knocked again, and I got up and opened the door again. Not sure why I did it to be honest. It would have been better to leave him there.

I opened the door again to find him giving me the finger. "I don't wanna cuss. But I will tell you, you're a certain curse word, that I really wanna say." he rasped. I leaned on the doorframe and tilted my head. "I'm literally just a girl." I smiled, and this time I didn't need effort to make the tears stay inside my eyes.

Fletch sighed and invited himself in. Okay, rude. "Look. We didn't get off to a great start, you and me." he said "I saw you wield an axe before. And I heard the way you talk. And it's good, it's all good. You, you have potential. But what you don't have is a strategy, and you need me for that. So, even though you're a total bit-I mean curse word, I think if you let me help you, you could win. Start over?"

He extended his hand. He was right, I did need a strategy. And I did need help. "You're a curse word too." I answered shaking his hand. "Start over."

Fletch nodded and stood up. Putting my game face on, I sat up straighter. It was time to find a strategy. A way to win. "You don't look like you can wield an axe. You look weak. But that would also make you a target, and lose you sponsors, so we're going to make sure people know you're strong but not too strong so they don't hunt you down immediately." he started explaining "You won't actively try and kill people, but if someone hurts you, or the opportunity arises, you grab it, understand?" 

I nod. However, there was a question that seemed to be pressing me so hard I couldn't breathe. Teak. He wasn't only my mentor, but Teak's too. So did Fletch favor one of us? He obviously wanted to protect us. But who did he want to protect more? And could I trust Fletch with my strategy? I had to find out. But how?

Wait.

If he would expose my strategy to Teak, then it's likely he would expose Teaks strategy to me, right? Except if he really favored him. 

"What about Teak?" I decided to ask "He must have a strategy as well. What is it?". Of course, Fletch dropped his hands and rolled his eyes. Bad idea? Maybe. But I kept my strength, looking right at him, silently, my expression never changing. Fletch groaned. "It's kinda private papergirl." he croaked. I stayed silent. "If I tell you about Teak, then if he asks about you, I'll have to tell him yours." Fletch continued. I raised my eyebrows, considering the offer. Checks out. I didn't like it. But the more I knew on Teak, the better. "Deal" I agreed. 

"He's planning to go full feral. Maybe even join the careers. And if he does, he'll probably try to kill them in their sleep, even though I told him not to." Fletch grunted. It's a good strategy and Fletch was right. Teak could never pull off killing all the careers. I nodded. "Now you." Fletch continued, changing the subject "You're to run away from the cornucopia. If the careers make their base elsewhere, you go and grab an axe after, maybe even a backpack. Now if theirs an axe close to you run and get it, don't stay in the bloodbath. Leave immediately. And be careful with alliances." 

"Sounds good" I nodded. "Thank you Fletch" I said and couldn't help but hug him. He was taken aback but he hugged me too. Lightly, but he did. I was glad and relieved but what Fletch didn't know, is that it was only partly about having a good strategy and knowing Teaks. 

Because he thought I asked about Teaks strategy to kill him. Which was true. But I wanted to make sure he died a death that felt like falling asleep and getting ready to dream, not an agonizing, brutal one. Which is why, even though it would destroy me, I was going to kill him. Painlessly. 

He was my best friend. And I wanted him to die knowing, I was losing my best friend.