Love in the Halls [Lee Donghyuck]

Chapter 52: Realization

ʕ˙Ⱉ˙‧:ʔ

Haechan lay sprawled on his bed, the faint hum of his ceiling fan swirling the warm air around his room. The afternoon sun streamed through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the cluttered space. His phone sat on the bedside table, its screen dark and untouched. He hadn't bothered checking it much lately. Not since he'd returned from Chenle's vacation house. The familiar buzz of incoming messages had dulled to an empty silence, and for the first time in a long while, it didn't bother him.

He stared at the ceiling, letting his mind wander. His room was full of things that usually made him feel at home—posters of his favorite artists, a keyboared propped against the wall, gaming consoles strewn across the floor. But right now, everything felt oddly out of place, like he was a guest in his own life. The laughter and chaos of his friends still echoed faintly in his ears, a comforting reminder of the carefree days they'd spent together. For those few weeks, he'd managed to push everything aside, to lose himself in the fun and noise. But the quiet of his room had a way of making the things he tried to forget come rushing back.

He reached over and grabbed his phone, his thumb hesitating over the screen before pressing the power button. It lit up, showing a series of messages from his friends and notifications from various apps. But there were no new messages from Narae. He hadn't expected any, not really. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he tossed the phone back onto the bed.

It wasn't about the texts. It was never about the texts. It was about the sinking realization that he might have been forcing something that wasn't meant to be. Haechan had spent so much time trying to get close to Narae, trying to get her to open up, thinking that if he could just make her see him, everything would fall into place. But maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe his feelings weren't as genuine as he'd convinced himself they were.

There had been moments when he'd felt like he was getting somewhere, little breakthroughs where Narae had smiled or laughed at something he said. He'd clung to those moments, replayed them in his mind like a favorite song, believing they meant something more. But now, lying in his bed, he wondered if he'd been reading too much into it, if he'd been mistaking her politeness for interest. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he'd been trying to mold his feelings into something they weren't.

The truth was, he enjoyed the challenge. Narae was different from the other girls he knew—more reserved, harder to read. She wasn't impressed by his usual antics, and that had made him try harder. But now, with the noise and distraction of his friends gone, he had the clarity to see what he'd been doing. He'd been treating her like a puzzle to solve, a shell to crack open. And that wasn't fair, not to her, and not to himself.

Haechan rolled onto his side, his eyes catching the light from the window. He remembered the party, the way he'd confronted Narae, the frustration in his voice when she hadn't responded to his messages. He'd wanted so badly for her to give him something—anything—that proved he mattered to her. But all he'd done was make her uncomfortable, push her further away. It was a harsh realization, one that cut deeper than he expected.

His thoughts shifted to Mark. The image of Mark casually texting Narae at the vacation house flashed through his mind. Mark had been so relaxed, so natural about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. And maybe it was. Maybe that was the point. Mark wasn't trying to be someone he wasn't. He wasn't trying to impress Narae or force his way into her life. He was just being himself. And that was enough for her.

A pang of envy shot through Haechan, but he quickly pushed it aside. It wasn't Mark's fault. Mark was his friend, and if Narae liked him, then Haechan needed to accept that. He had no right to feel jealous or betrayed, especially when he couldn't even be sure of his own feelings. Maybe he'd been chasing after Narae for the wrong reasons, wanting to prove to himself that he could make her fall for him, that he could break through her walls. But relationships weren't supposed to be games or challenges. They were supposed to be genuine, built on mutual respect and understanding.

Haechan sat up, running a hand through his hair. It was time to let go of the idea that he needed to be the one to crack Narae's shell. If he ever developed feelings for her again, they needed to come from a place of sincerity, not from a need to feel accomplished or validated. He didn't want to be that person anymore. He wanted to be someone who cared about people for who they were, not what they could give him.

He stood up and walked over to the window, looking out at the quiet street below. The world felt strangely still, like it was waiting for him to make a decision. Haechan took a deep breath, feeling the weight lift off his shoulders. He was ready to move on, to let things be. If Narae was meant to be a part of his life, it would happen naturally, without force or expectation. And if not, then that was okay too.

He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts, his thumb hovering over Narae's name for a moment before he closed it. He would see her at school, and when he did, he would be nothing more than a friend. No games, no pressure, just Haechan being himself.

With a newfound sense of peace, he left his room and headed downstairs. His family was in the living room, the sound of the TV blending with the faint hum of conversation. Haechan sighed as he joined them, the familiar warmth of home filling the empty spaces in his heart. For the first time in weeks, he felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

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1038 words

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