✓ WICKED VOWS| JAKE (Book II )

65-Cowards In Love

Anastasia

The flight back to London was silent and thick with tension hanging in the air like an oncoming storm. Chugging softly underneath us, those humming jets were in huge contrast to the whirlwind of emotions going through my mind. Jake sat opposite me, his arms securely holding Nymeria in his embrace; her little breaths were the only punctuation to the silence. I stared out the window, watching the clouds pass by, trying to make sense of the life to which we were returning.

As I flew across the skies, my mind turned to work issues, and instinctively my hand reached for my phone. I typed a message to Jude and Keith to get back from Russia; there was work to do, and I needed them back. The two were my closest associates, and their absence had left a void I didn't want to take anymore.

Jake's voice cut into the silence, pulling me from my reverie. "Have you spoken with Inna?" he asked; his tone was casual, but the look in his eyes betrayed a flicker of unease.

I shook my head, looking away. The fact was, I hadn't talked to Inna at all. Truly, in hiding, I'd cut off just about all contact with the outside world except for cursory communications with Akira and Niki. I couldn't stand the world I'd abandoned, the people I'd deserted. The guilt chewed at me, and knowing this, I only faced Inna when those emotions bubbled up to the surface.

Jake looked at me for a while, his eyes delving into mine in search of answers that I was not ready to give. When I didn't say anything, he let out a deep sigh, leaning backward into his seat. "I will take care of it," he said softly, a ring in his voice that was almost comforting and at the same time discomfiting.

I nodded, my guilt heavy while recalling how I'd managed to keep myself away from everything, how I'd missed so much. Inna had given birth to yet another child four months before Nymeria was born. I had distanced myself from it all, cocooned in my own pain and fear, but now the reality was hitting me hard of what I'd missed. I missed Alexander too. I was sad since it felt like I had just been blind to so many things lost, never to be regained.

The familiar city skyline greeted us as we finally touched down in London, but as we drove through its streets, I couldn't help this heaviness in my chest. My mind was filled so suddenly with so many memories of times past, each one the ghost that haunted me as I made my way into the house, a house that held wars.

Jake must have sensed my unease because just before we reached the front door, he stopped me. His hand clasped mine gently, anchoring me in the present. "I already have another castle, Anastasia," he whispered, his tone full of quiet determination. "Or if you want, we can buy another one."

His words brought me to a pause, the wave of emotion crashing over me. This house at which we were standing was more than just bricks and mortar; it was the place where we had built life together, where we had loved and fought and lost. It was the place I once felt safe.

"No," I said firmly, my voice not even quivering. "I bought this house with your money, and as such it is mine, and I will live here."

Jake stared at me for a long moment, and I could see the struggle in his eyes. But he didn't argue. He knew just as well as I did that this house was our home, the place we belonged- even if so much had changed.

As we came in, the maids greeted us warmly, but the welcoming smiles belied the curiosity the unspoken questions of where I had been, and the tiny bundle I was carrying. They did not ask me, and for those small mercies, I was thankful because I didn't want to draw my gun at anyone if I got annoyed and I didn't fucking want to be annoyed because Nymeria senses my moods.

We walked towards our wing of the house, and I practically felt déjà vu as I walked down the halls. But as we reached what used to be my old room, I froze, breath catching in my throat. It was now a nursery- a beautiful, baby pink nursery for Nymeria. It was something out of a fairy tale: extremely delicate curtains and soft plush toys scattered everywhere. Everything was just perfect, arranged for a little princess. But the very idea of leaving her in any other room, even such a beautiful one as this, sent a wave of panic through me.