Love Unexpected

Chapter 3: Shopping with Jinnie

You and Jinnie get to the grocery store. Your anxiety was already at an all-time high. You have always hated being out in crowded places. The drive there had been a bit quiet and you had been to nervous to start a conversation.

Once in the store, Hyunjin kept glancing over at you like he wanted to say something but wouldn't or couldn't. You could feel him boaring a hole in your head.
Vee-"Hyunjin. What is it? Pls just say what you want to say. I'm already on edge and I can feel you staring a hole into my head".
He rubs his neck while reaching the top shelf to grab the gochujang you couldn't reach. You smiled quietly. Just so easy to get in the routine. He already knew that's what you were going to go for.
Hyunjin - "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. We should've been with him that night. I will forever blame myself. I betrayed my best friend. I will never forgive myself".

You look down at your hands grabbing the cart. Shit, you didn't even think about him and how he's been. You look up and smile at him. Put your hand on his arm.
Vee-"Jinnie. Don't - Please...as the matter of fact can we wait until we get home. We can talk then and while I make kimchijigae we can figure out everything. I know we have to talk about all that. Just not here". He nods and agrees. You finish shopping in silence.

As you pull up to your driveway you see Binnies car parked outside. You squeal and jump out of Hyunjin's car and head straight to the muscle man. You jump straight into his embrace. He kisses your face all over and squeezes hard.
Binnie -"Velandra Marie! I've missed you so much. I was so happy when Jinnie called me. Not happy why but happy that you finally reached out. We didn't want to intrude. But I was going crazy. I'm glad you're back."

You smile at him and give him another hug. Man, you missed this man. He always made you feel safe and was the reason you stayed in shape. You hated the gym. But your dwaekki always pulled you in. Making sure you were in tip top shape. Ugh, his laugh and smile make your heart almost burst. You hug him one more time for good measure.

Hyunjin parks and all three of you bring in the groceries. They help you put it all away. Knowing where you put everything. It's like time never passed.

You see in your mind's eye the last time you were there all together. He'd been there too. Chan had seen the soft touches Jinnie had given you and the looks he kept giving when you and Chan would hug or sit together. You were so oblivious to it all. But Chan had seen. He didn't say anything. In a few months you guys would be living together. He'd propose. You'd get married and continue to live your perfect life. Him as an idol and you as a model slash writer. So, he told himself it was all in his head. But that hiatus had changed things for you and Jinnie. And though nothing had ever happened. You knew there were feelings there, but both of you would never go there.

You come back to the present. In your kitchen, Hyunjin is taking out the cutting boards and pots. You guys get to it. Making kimchijigae. They stay with you the rest of the day and into the night. You guys eat and ended ordering beef japchae and toekbokki because you love to eat.

Binnie says something about you being too skinny. That he has to buff you back up. You roll your eyes. But laugh. Hyunjin keeps looking at the time. You look at him
Vee-"If you have to go you can. I'm not going anywhere and I'm hoping to see Felix when he gets back and maybe you can bring Hannie by. I miss my cuddle bugs."

Jinnie smiles. He looks at Changbin and an exchange is made. Binnie stands up stretches and says he's got to go. You're confused at the exchange but stand up. He hugs you and again tells you welcome back. You make plans to go bowling Friday. You him Jinnie and Hannie. Hopefully Lix is back too. He says bye to Jinnie and heads out.

You start cleaning up and when you're at the sink you feel Hyunjin behind you. He goes to hug you from behind but you drop the dish and move away. Heart beating so fast and panic in your stomach. He turns red and you can see a flicker of sadness pass.
Hyunjin-"Im sorry. I..."
Vee- "It's okay. I'm sorry I just um..." You look anywhere but at him. "I don't.... It's uncomfortable. Not ready yet." Hyunjin rubs the back of his neck. He does that when he's nervous and wants to say something. You see him decide to speak.
Hyunjin - "Can we talk or not yet? We need to...". You cut him off.
Vee- "What do you want to talk about Jinnie?". (Your tone a bit more venomous than you intended) "The fact that we crossed a line? That we will never be able to tell him how sorry we are? That we fucked everything up because we were stupid and selfish?".
Hyunjin- "Vee please. I know we are hurting for him but you can't tell me you haven't been hurting for us too. It wasn't a game. It wasn't fake feelings. I lo-".
Vee- "Don't – Don't u dare finish that sentence. Hyunjin we cant. I can't. Not now. Maybe not ever. Please. I just want to go back to the us before the hiatus. Before all of it. Please., I don't want to lose you but we can't".

You're starting to cry again and start shaking. Hyunjin grabs you into a hug and apologizes. You stay like that a few minutes. Until he says he has got to go. You think maybe he's done and this was it. You'll never see him again. But he says he's excited for Friday. He smiles a real smile. Even though you still see the sadness in his eyes.
Hyunjin- "It'll be fun. Us together. Bowling. We can kick Binnies ass". You laugh. He smiles and walks off.
Your heart hurts and you all of sudden feel empty again. You missed them. You did miss him. You'd missed him just as much as Chan.

Friday finally arrives. You've been busy the last 4 days. Writing. Drawing. Creating new stories. Emailing them to Chesca and her responding so happy and excited that you were up and about.

Felix had called you yesterday when he landed. He was jetlagged so he said he would see you Friday and he was going to rest. And at the crack of dawn Friday, he'd called you. Said he was outside. You didn't even bother to put a decent pajama on. Just ran down in your shorts and crop top and opened your door. You flung yourself right onto him and into his warm hug. He caught you laughing. He held you close.
Lix- "Oh my moon. How I missed you". He said with his face in your neck. Hugging you tight.
Vee- "Oh my sun. I missed you more". You guys had decided he was the sun because he was bright and warm and you were his moon because you were calm and serene. Most of the time anyway.
You look up and you both see your eyes watery with unshed tears. You grab his face and rub noses together and lean your foreheads together.
Vee- "I'm so so sorry sunshine. I didn't mean to ghost you too. If anyone else was as broken as me it definitely was you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Lix".
Lix- "Its okay. Like you said. We were both broken".
You look at him. You try to perk up.
Vee- "Okay. We can cry later. Get in here. I'm practically naked out here and it's cold."
Lix just laughs and gives you his hand so you drag him inside.

He tells you about being home in Australia the last 3 months. How being there helped him heal and that he met someone. But the glint in his eye was hiding something.
Vee- "He's beautiful. Smokin hot. Good job Felix". He's showing you pictures of his boyfriend.
Felix blushes, "yeah yeah. Dilemma is I also met her". He shows you a picture of the hottest female you've seen.
Vee- "Holy mother of ... She's beautiful! But wait. Are you with both of them?".
Felix turns red again. - "Well, we are all together. We're a throuple"
Vee- "Lee Yongbok!" You pretend to clutch your non existent pearls. "What? I'm sorry a throuple. Like all three of you together?"
Lix laughs-"Yeah. I know. So out of character for me. But we couldnt help it. I love them both and he loves us both and she loves us both and well we just fit".
Vee- "Wow. Good job though. Three of the hottest humans on this planet together. There must be an imbalance somewhere. It's not fair".
You guys laugh. He cuddles in to your side.

He spends the day with you. Talking while you work. Then you have to get ready for the night. You wear your favortie ripped boyfriend jeans and crop top. With dangling earrings and two space buns. They look weird with your short hair but still cute. Natural makeup and a spritz of the body shop. Hyunjin had bought it for you last year for Christmas. You smile remembering when he gave it to you.

You and Felix get in the car. He's on the phone with Han and Hyunjin. Getting directions. Both of you get lost easily still in Korea. You'd think by now you would know the way around. But even though speaking and understanding Korean had gotten easier. Reading it was another story.

You finally arrive and before you can step out of the car Han is there dragging you out of it into a massive hug. He buries his face in your neck and starts laughing when you freak out because it's tickles.
Han-"Ha, still ticklish I see. You look amazing. So much better than what these two were describing. I thought you were half dead".
You flash a look at Jinnie and Bin. Giving them the "seriously?" look you give them when youre disappointed. They both look down and smirk.

You put your arm into the crook of Hans arm and start walking into the bowling alley. You feel at home. But Chan not being here with you guys is almost unbearable. You shove the feelings down. No more crying.