Soft skin bleeds.

Friends

At school, for the first time I had a crush. His name was Smith. Oh smith, he was so cute and funny and adorable. I didn't care if he was shorter than me, or if he constantly made fun of me. And my forehead. My biggest insecurities, being overweight and having a big forehead constantly pointed out and laughed about. But even if he also made fun of me, he made me laugh. And I thought he was cute. I had other friends, Ken and Simon. Ken had a big crush on me. The first and only person ever. But he was a dirty little boy. He commented on my boobs but told me I had "drop." I was 8 how was I to know better? He was cute I guess and I always wanted a boyfriend. But I still liked Smith. Simon was there for me through it all. Everyone claimed he had it for me too but I never believed it. To this day that isn't proven fact. But I only had boobs because I was fat. And as a little girl. I had boobs and fat everywhere. But I didn't want that. I wanted to be skinny and flat like the other girls. Like the pretty girls.. I was ugly and I had a big forehead, messed up hair, dark skin and ance. I was 8. "Are those pimples??". I could only respond with "you'll get them someday too". As much as I tried not to let it phase me. I was a little girl. It did phase me. Everyday crying to God and every night crying to sleep. "I don't wanna cry anymore. Give me one day where I don't have to cry. I just wanna be happy". My own parents call me worthless and treat me that way. The kids at school are ok I guess. And I joined a soccer team. This boy named James, he was pretty cute. A year older. And we went to the same school. We paired up and me, him and Ethan became a soccer trio. Granted I wasn't that good but it didn't matter. At the end of the season we threw a party at my house. We went undefeated a couple years. When at my house. I made myself food and a drink. "How do you know how to do that?" I'll never forget his words. I spoke with him all mature like I knew what I was talking about. It made me sad. He never had to learn. His parents did it all and he got to be a kid.. even he sympathized with me.. He left for middle school one year though. Bye James.