The Lantern Bearers

chapter 25: what it should be

It's been a week since karma did what she did to me, and things certainly felt... different since then.

I was in a subconsciously depressed state. The best i could describe it was the feeling of hollowness, like something was taken, but i couldn't quite place my finger on what it was. Was it that "virginity" thing willow mentioned? I mean, physically, i feel the same, but at the same time, i don't.

I sat there, staring at the burn barrel flames with a bottle of scotch in my hand, not saying a word.

I know my boy and girl were worried sick over me, especially Yui. Each of them briefly passed me by, glancing at me as hours passed.

I didn't know how to feel about these sorts of things. I've never had to deal with them, the feeling of being taken advantage of and being used against my will. I guess one could say that i was "processing" things. Especially how i felt towards karma.

My attachment to her is strong, despite all she's done. I feel like she's processing things herself, but in a negative way. I wonder if this event impacted her in any way too, and if she's truly carrying my child or not, and if she'd let me have any involvement with their lives and not be a part of the striders again.

I guess you truly can't have your cake and eat it too, though....

My thoughts were interrupted when Yui sat by me and placed her hand on my thigh.

"You worry me, master." She said with concern.

"Bah, nothing to worry about." I said.

"Master....i detect high levels of stress, and anxiety coming from your body. By feeling your thigh, i detect high blood pressure too." She said plainly.

Geez, does she have to read me like a fucking book??

I took a drink of scotch and stared on, at the fire.

".....she wasn't always like this....she was someone i could count on....we ate together, slept in the same bed, shared desserts, we did everything together since we were children, onward......she snapped because i abandoned her....its all my fault....i had it coming...." i said, lowering my gaze to the dirt.

"There is a contradiction to that logic, master." She said.

I looked at her with a raised brow.

"You have done everything together and have become close, why didn't she go with you? Why did she choose a violent path? Why did she choose to hurt you, master?" She asked.

"She was faithful to the striders and didn't let me leave without a fight. It made her snap and lose herself." I explained.

She shook her head.

"She prioritized the strider organization over you, logic is not sound. It is apparent that your importance and feelings is second to the organization. Had she have felt so strongly towards you, she would have understood your feelings and would have either let you go or went with you to haven 38. You owe her nothing, master." She explained bluntly.

Her saying that, opened a new view on karma. I have been making excuses for her when she has none and literally could have just came with me that day and lived with me in peace, but she put the organization and killing above me, who she claimed was important.

"......she did something with me and it was very uncomfortable. I didn't want to do that with her. I assume it will be uncomfortable and unpleasant next time i do it. I don't want to breed ever again." I said, drinking some more.

"Master, she bred with you. Your perception of breeding is misguided and misunderstood. From the data gathered, it is a pleasant experience between male and female. Maybe it was unpleasant, because it was an incompatible individual and it was forced upon you, rather than occurring naturally. Perhaps with a more compatible partner, it would be much more of a pleasurable experience, master." She explained.

I nodded, and took another drink of scotch.

"Would you like for me to be said sexual partner, master?" She asked plainly.

I nearly choked to death on my scotch at the notion.

"After what just happened to me?!" I exclaimed.

"My diagnostics confirm that through cross examination of both our data gathered and our common mannerisms towards one another, we are ninety seven, point thirty-six compatible, master!" Yui said with confidence.

I tilted my head and a frown of disbelief tugged at the corner of my mouth a si looked at her.

"Can we even breed?? You look human, but do you have the means to breed with humans??" I asked, boldly.

She nodded.

"I don't know why or how, but my kind is very compatible with human anatomy. I am almost positive i could carry your child, master." She said with a smile.

"But why do you what to?" I asked.

"Master.....i have a grown attachment to you. It is a very intimate one, one that is both simple, yet complex. It could be summarized as humans calls "love" but even then, it's still not fitting." She said.

Love....

A word almost forgotten to time and almost abandoned....

Yet, some still hold onto it....

"Fine.... it's been a week.... maybe it's time to move on." I said standing up.

I would immediately feel myself get yoinked in a direction and nearly losing my footing. Yui was running with me to the house and rushed inside to my room.

She sort of slung me in there and closed the door behind us, thankfully.

"What are they doi-" i heard zeus say outside.

"Just go to Nathan's." Willow said outside.

"But-"

"GO TO NATHAN'S DAMMIT!"

Zeus would huff and walk away. I would then hear willow walk away too.

Yui would turn to face me, she would begin to undress herself, unzipping her romper jumpsuit, exposing her fairly large breasts as she did. They looked similar to karma's, but almost thrice as big. Before i knew it, she was completely naked.

Her body was small like karma's, but a tad taller. It had more curves and a more "mature" look, unlike karma's petite figure.

She briefly glowed pink and her forehead would have a pink heart shaped glow that illuminated through her hair. Her pupils did the same, changing to heart shapes. Her body would emit a strange smell, one that smelled sweet and alluring.

I would feel myself instinctively undressing myself and as soon as i was done, i was seemingly under the effects of the scent.

No panic....
No fear.....
No dread....

I felt....
At peace and wanted her.....

We would gently kiss and explore each other's bodies, before getting on the bed together. We would also roll around, doing this before i would find myself on top. She would instruct me on what to do and didn't judge me. The rest felt, natural.

Being in the strider organization, we were only taught a hand full of things till our knuckles bled and our bodies ached.

How to fight....
How to shoot....
How to kill....
What artifacts and anomalies are....
Where to find them....
And were trained to the bone to be hunting, killing machines.

We were isolated from things like acts of sex, pleasure, romance, and other things that made humans, well, human. There was so much i didn't know when i left the striders. Most of it i learned while out in the field.

This however.....
This feeling....
I loved it...
I felt loved...

Once we were done, i found myself cuddling her and it was the best sleep I've ever had.