The Languagehumans!

PART 2

This is the PART 2 of: If me and the languages I know and attempted to learn worked in an office building together.
Yippie. ✨🎉

I was peacefully strolling down the hallway of the office building of pure terror and despair when I heard someone call out to me. It had been quite a while since I saw the languages because I decided to take a break for the sake of my rapidly declining brain cells.

English: "Heya, been a while. Miss me?" He asked, still with that cocky smirk that I so desperately wanted to wipe off his cocky face.

Me:

Me: "Yeah.... missed you a lot."

Dutch, in a menacing tone behind me: "What about me?"

Me: "You too.. Dutch, I'm assuming?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

Dutch: "Yeah, congratulations on guessing correctly. My accent wasn't a dead giveaway at all..." she said sarcastically and returned to her seat at the cubicle.

For some reason, Spanish decided that he was included in the conversation and popped his head out of his cubicle.
Spanish: "Hola! What about me, did you finally remember me?"

Me: "Pfft, you wish. I threw your sorry ass to Mars." I scoffed and leaned back on English's cubicle, taking note of Spanish's baffled expression.

Russian sighed from the cubicle next to us.
Russian: "Did you recognize me? I mean... you kind of left me in the dust." He said wistfully and tutted before taking a huge sip of his Vodka.

Me: "Yeahhh, sorry about that. I got caught up with some stuff."

Spanish: "Like what? Hanging with German and Finnish?" He said abruptly.

There was a simultaneous gasp, even from Finnish themselves.

English: "Finnish? Really? Out of all of us you could've chosen?"

Dutch: "English, maybe you shouldn't speak on the matter because we all know you'd be the last one anyone would even think of hanging out with."
English sighed.

Finnish, to Russian: "Can I disembowel you and hang your vital organs on a washing line?"

Russian: "Have a blast... honestly. I was going to say 'Russian Roulette' but I'm too depressed to now."

English, in a mock Russian accent: "Oooh, I'm Russian and I'm so edgy. Look at me, I got dumped by my best friend, now I'm going to drink a whole vat of Vodka and wait 'till my body ejects itself from life so I can die in the winter snow by myself."

Russian:

Russian: "I never said that."

Suddenly...... German.
German: "GUTEN TAG, EVERYONE! How are we all on this fine day today?"

Spanish looked amused but Dutch just gave him an eye roll.
Dutch: "Not now, German. Russian is having an 'edgy boy moment' and he needs some peace."

German: "And schnitzel!"

English: "No schnitzel."

German, now sad: "No schnitzel?"

English: "No schnitzel."

German gave a dejected look and returned to his cubicle. Meanwhile, I was watching with an expression that you could only describe as "huh".

Me: "Hey, guys. Where did French and Portuguese go?" I asked, looking around me.

Spanish: "They quit. Truly a tragedy!" He sobbed dramatically.

I just deadpanned. "Eh, well, I'll miss them... I guess?"

Finnish: "Vittu! Russian just escaped through the window and onto a helicopter. He told me he's going to start World War three."

Not everything registered immediately but when it did, the room broke into overlapping panics and screams. Spanish then bumped into a lava lamp (totally not on purpose /j) and broke it. A fire broke out, sending everyone into an even bigger panic.

German, with one tear falling down his face for dramatic effect: "No schnitzel.."

English was eleven steps ahead of everyone though, since he'd escaped the building exactly nine seconds before any of the chaos happened. He watched from the bottom of the building as huge flames engulfed the walls. Portuguese and French were standing next to English, the two'd just come to apply for the job again but it seemed that it was... needless to say... a little occupied.

Portuguese: "I bet one hundred dollars that it was Dutch who started this, I don't know why, it just feels right." He said, looking over to French, who looked absolutely horrified at that moment.

French: "I don't know if this is a good time to be betting, Portuguese. People are dying."

Portuguese: "Good riddance."

French slowly turned her head towards Portuguese: "If there was one person you could save from that fire, who would it be?"

Portuguese: "Myself, I'm not risking MY life for anyone else's. Sorry, but that sounds like a 'them' problem."

English then turned to Portuguese as well, but not with the same deranged smile he had on earlier.
English: "What about one person you would deliberately lock in that burning building?"

Portuguese didn't even need two seconds to think of an answer: "Spanish, he's rude and he called me a cheap version of him."

French: "He's not wrong, but I don't disagree with you. Also- you're still holding that grudge?"

Portuguese: "I don't forget easy.."

There was an uncomfortably awkward silence before an explosion boomed from inside and five bodies came flying out, splatting on the ground like in a cartoon.

I peeled my face from the floor.
Me: "What."

Seeing as I was alive, Portuguese just huffed and stomped angrily.
Portuguese: "Damn you!"

The others soon got up and collected themselves, later watching as the building burned and collapsed. English was filming, French was looking concerned, Portuguese, Spanish and Dutch looked happy and Finnish was gulping Jaloviina as if it was his last day on Earth.
German just sat on the ground, looking nearly traumatized.

All of the sudden, Russian's helicopter crashed next to us and the bastard climbed out as if nothing happened.
Russian: "I failed to start World Wa- woooahh... what happened here?" He stared at the burning building.

English, still recording: "You started this, you should know."

Russian then ignored him and began chugging yet another bottle of Vodka.

"No schnitzel."

———
Note:

By the time I publish this I'm working on a drawing of the Languagehumans so I won't put part 3 out yet, only when I've finished the drawing... also my apologies for the bad writing (it's gonna get worse from here) 😿