It's Okay If You Forget Me

Chapter 7

Boss woke up with a startle. He looked at his side, and watched Noeul in his arms still asleep. His chest raised up and down with the rhythm of his breathing and it calmed Boss. He pushed the blanket off him as lightly as he could before he went to the bath to clean himself. He picked up the condom wrapper from last night and put back the lube into his drawer. He didn't want to wake Noeul up.

His memories of last night accompany him when he was in the bath alone. Noeul was the same cunning sleeping partner that he knew. He was wild and fun in the sheets but somehow last night there was some vulnerability that wasn't there before. He tried to shake it off, thinking that he was thinking too much into it.

And the scars? There were barcode scars on his arms too, but he pretended that he didn't see it. He knew Noeul was in a very fragile situation and it would be wise to wait before exploring the darker questions that he had in his head.

He'd seen it before with people that he met throughout his work. He'd seen them healed enough to get a job for themselves or maybe it was just play pretend, he'd seem them worked through it but still struggled thus resorted to substance use and such, and not little numbers of people who lost their life shortly after being saved. It hurts Boss too when he heard people succumbed to the circumstances. He could never judge because he'd been there when the broke up happened.

He just persevered, minding his own world, closed the blinds to his inside as tightly as possible to prevent his heart from breaking again. Boss walked out of the bathroom and almost peed himself when he saw Noeul staring at him from the dining table.

"You scared the hell out of me," Boss complained and chuckled.

"You left."

"For a bath. I have a morning shift," he eyed the clock, he had another one and a half hour before he needs to clock in.

"It's still early,"

"I like to come in early, get busy," Boss said as he cracked eggs into the bowl to make scramble eggs. "But you can stay for a while to have enough rest,"

"You're asking me to leave?" Boss looked up to see Noeul made a puppy face. He chuckled lightly to himself but then put on a stoic face. "You're seriously kicking me out?"

"Noeul, do what you want to do."

"What about last night?"

"What about it?" Boss could feel his face blushed, there was a rush of blood.

"We...we made love." Noeul mumbled, seemingly equally embarrassed to talk about it too. Boss didn't reply, as he pretended to be absorbed in his cooking. "You...made love to me," Noeul pulled the blanket closer to his body. "Or you called it something else now?" his tone was accusing, Boss could read him loud and clear.

"Noeul,"

"You don't think that what we did last night was special for both of us?" Noeul's tone raised. "How could you think of me that way?"

"I..." he needed to keep calm, it's the only way to avoid confrontation and Noeul was becoming more hysteric now that he didn't reply him quickly. The truth was Boss was still processing what happened between them last night, it escalated rapidly that Boss was afraid it would turn sour sooner or later. It's sooner than he thought apparently.

"Things are not the same way as before, Boss, but you could have the decency to tell me what's going on your mind rather than letting me sail with the sliver of hope you gave me..."

"So what do you want me to do?" Boss put his spatula down. "You came back in my life suddenly without warning, do not forget that you are the one who...urgh!" Boss punched the air. He hated quarrelling with Noeul, he despised it because then he would live with the guilt that Noeul projected to him. "What am I supposed to do when you basically flaunt yourself in front of me? I'm only human!"