Shattered promises // JJK

Chapter 2: N(FOR)EVER

Me and Jungkook have been in a secret relationship for three years. It started as an on-and-off hookup thing for about six months, but after we were sure about each other, we officially started dating (well, not official official). Very few trusted people knew about us, but I was cool with it-or was I? I'm not sure anymore. We talked about it, and I didn't want to jeopardize his career. We were worried his fans and his company wouldn't accept it, so I tried my best to avoid any kind of scandal, and it worked.

We have never been caught, but at what cost? Our affection is always behind closed curtains, tiptoeing around like we're breaking some kind of law. I was tired of it, tired of hiding, but I couldn't tell him my concerns. I knew he wouldn't take it lightly, not when he's been distant from me lately. We are growing apart-actually, he is, not me. He's coming home late, ignoring my calls, and he doesn't even want to kiss me anymore.

One time, I told him I didn't want to hide anymore, but he lashed out at me for "trying to ruin his life and his job when I knew how his fans would have reacted." He said that, but his fans seem very fine about his status now, rooting for him and this new girl.

I mean, she's actually perfect. I walked to the mirror. I stared at my reflection, insecurities I've been trying to hide for years flowing back to me. I cringed at the way I looked-how my face still has baby fat, how my boobs are too small, how fat around my belly is noticeable over my clothes, how the indent of my hip dip looks, the stretch marks, the scars on my legs... just everything.

How could he not cheat? She's a goddamn supermodel, and I am... a nobody. And it hits me. He's embarrassed of me. Oh NO NO NO! I tried to refuse it, but it's true. It never occurred to me, but it was obvious. His actions were loud and clear. I was just naive. He never wanted to introduce me to his friends and family. It took me two years of nagging to finally meet them. He doesn't invite his friends over to anything if I am around. He hates to be seen with me by his friends and acts very weird when they're around, as if I am not his girlfriend.

I can't believe I was so immersed in him that I ignored the waving red flags. Who am I kidding? This is not even the first time I found out he was cheating.

Three months ago, I received an anonymous DM that said, "Your boyfriend is not loyal; you should look into it." Initially, I refused to believe it and didn't tell him so that he wouldn't be mad that someone else knew about us. I tried to put it out of my mind, but two weeks later, I received another text. This time, it was accompanied by incriminating photo and video evidence.

I convinced myself that it was just someone trying to sabotage our relationship by bringing up old pictures. Despite deleting the messages and blocking the sender, they continued to appear, haunting me and refusing to let me ignore the truth. It was clear as day that he was actively cheating. I noticed his new hairstyle, recent clothes, and also the necklace I fucking bought him. It was really devastating.

The problem was I couldn't bring myself to confront him. The fear of losing him was so unbearable when I tried to talk to him. I was scared that he would accuse me of believing a nobody over him. It truly was a nightmare for me. I didn't know what to do. Therefore, I took the cowardly way out. I deactivated my social media, turning my face away from the truth to save my relationship, which was actually already on the brink of death.