Shattered promises // JJK

Chapter 6: GONE

He abandoned me too. I feel void now; I have no more tears left. There is no life left for me. I picked myself up from where I was wallowing on the floor for like two hours since he left. I should get out now before he is back. It is his place after all. I left everything for him-my house, my job, and worst of all, myself.

I changed my clothes, grabbed my shoes, and headed to the door. I am never coming back. I didn't take any of my belongings either; I have nowhere to go. The conversation we had was not supposed to end like this. I imagined he had an explanation, made an effort, or was sorry. I expected much. I am glad he ended it because I don't have the strength to do it myself. At least it is over now. No need to pretend that my life was not falling apart.

I absentmindedly walk wherever my legs take me. It is 8 PM; the sun has set, and it looks like it's about to rain. The city, on the other hand, is buzzing with warmth. One thing that fascinates me about Seoul, no matter the time or season, is that it's always vibrant. Taking walks in these streets cured my problems.

The soft buzz of an incoming call interrupted my thoughts. I am not expecting anyone's call now. I pulled my phone out while debating whether I should pick it up or not. I glanced at it to figure out who the caller was. It's my doctor. He never calls me this late unless it is something serious.

I went to the hospital yesterday. I had been feeling under the weather the past few weeks. I had a headache, felt nauseous, lost my appetite, and nothing I ate stayed down. I downplayed it, thinking it was stress, but it kept getting worse. After I had my checkup, I left due to an urgent matter. They suggested calling me after my results came in. I answered the call, little did I know my world was about to collapse (as if it hadn't already).

"Hello, Doctor."

"Hello, Ms. Choi. Sorry for calling late. How are you?"

"It's not a problem. I am good."

"Your test results came in earlier."

"Yeah, okay..." What is with that tone? Is it something serious?

"Congratulations! You are two months pregnant."

"WHAT!?" I would prefer to hear that I have an incurable chronic disease than this.

"Yes, I am happy to announce that you and your baby are in a healthy condition."

"Wha- I- Are you sure, Doctor?"

"Of course, I am 100% positive."

"But I am on birth control. It can't be."

"Well, you know they are not always preventive. There is a slight chance it can happen. I get that this is unexpected, but I am sure you and your partner can adjust to the situation. In addition, our hospital has an amazing follow-up pro-"

I can't keep listening to this bullshit. I hung up. There is no way I have a baby in me. He probably mixed up my results. Yes, he got it confused, I am sure. Even though my period was late for two months, I cannot be pregnant. It is just the birth control messing it up, right? I hope so.

I clutch my stomach. I am in denial, but it is very likely that it is true. Oxygen is being caught up in my throat, making it hard to breathe. The tears that had dried up started flowing again. This time though, I am not alone. The sky started to cry with me. What wrong have I done to be tormented like this? I am not able to support myself, let alone have a child. Where should I go? Whom do I have? What is going to happen now? One thing I know for sure: I am not bringing my child into this absurd world. I am not raising my child when I can't give them a proper life and without a dad. I may not give them anything, but I can hide them from the torture I have been through. I only have one option.