Shattered promises // JJK

EPILOGUE

I popped my eyes open and sit up straight. My body is drenched and achy. Is this the afterlife?

My eyes start adjusting to the darkness slowly. Reality crushed down on me. I just had a nightmare. I've been having those for a while, but this one was horrible of all. It felt so real.
Tears are streaming down my face, my heart beating frantically and my clothes sticky to my body due to my sweat. That was my worst fear. Losing him is my worst fear. I cannot afford to let him go. I can't. He is the love of my life. Losing him means losing myself. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down.

I turned around to face him. He is sleeping peacefully besides me. I reached out tracing his sharp jaw line. He is breathtakingly gorgeous. He grabbed my hand and hugged me deep to his chest. I am going to miss this. His warm embrace, this amazing chest, his many scent I will miss all of it.

But I have to, the guilt is eating me up. It is unbearable now. It started as a drunk mistake. Now we can't get our hands off each other whenever we are in a close proximity. We knew it won't last but we dragged it this far, none of us willing to stop. It have to stop now. I need to end this. I don't want to regret it after it is too late.

"Good morning." He said with a deep morning voice followed by a kiss.

"Hey Joon." I called out. "I think we should stop seeing each other."

"What a beautiful way to start my morning." He said sarcastically.

"I am serious. I can't do this anymore." We both sit up on the bed.

"I get it. But--" He took a deep breath rubbing his face.

"The guilt is killing me. I can't even look him in the eyes anymore."

"Yes but he don't have to know."

"What if he does?"

"There is no way he will. We are extra careful."

"I can't take the risk. There is a chance he might find about it."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I do but it is hard. I am even having disturbing nightmares."

"It doesn't have to end like this."

"It does. Imagine if he founds out. He will never forgive me. Plus you are his best friend. He will be so heart broken and devastated."

"What about me then?"

"We both know this was a temporary thing."

"But I like you. I love the time we spent together." He says his eyes glassy.

"Me too it came to an end though. I love him, life without him is impossible for me. You told me he was planning to propose. How long are we going to drag this then?"

"I love-"

"Namjoon please! Don't make it harder than it is." I interrupted him.

"Yeah sure. You are right." He said heading to the bathroom.

He returned back fully dressed. He grabbed his thing in complete silence as I stare at him. Before he head out, he leaned next to me holding my face in his hands.

"I don't regret any of the time we spent together. I loved you so much that I stabbed my best friend's back. But no matter what I do, you won't love me like him. I can't hold back someone I never had in the first place. I wish you happiness La-Ra you'll always be in my heart." He gave me a last lingering kiss and left.

"I did the right thing." I say to myself. My phone starts ringing on the nightstand. It is Jungkook.

"Good morning my love. I was just thinking about you." I say trying to regulate my shaky voice.

The End