Only Hers

Chapter Nine

Kazimir

I didn't want to enter the cemetery. It has been a week, almost two weeks since she died.

I wish I could have done things differently.

"It's going to rain soon," Nikolai says.

"Give me a second."

I needed more than a second, I needed a minute or more. I feel the pressure to enter the cemetery. I wanted to go alone, but I didn't have that option. I had Andrei and Nikolai with me because they were the only support I had.

Nikolai wants to go home and he believes that I should leave Imani in the past. She was bad for us, bad for me, she was a liar and a traitor. Oleg agrees with him, but I just can't ignore my emotions for her. They are too intense.

I feel Andrei's hand firmly grip my shoulders and he gave it a light squeeze. I squeezed the flowers in my right hand and took a deep breath.

"She would be calling you a pussy right now if you take longer," he jokes.

"We should come back another day," Andrei suggested.

"No, we'll go now. I'm fine."

I exhaled and started walking into the cemetery, and with every step, everything became worse. My heart rate quickened, my blood rushed to my ears, and anxiety filled my whole body. I didn't want to be here.

I had to say goodbye to her. She would be calling me a pussy wherever she is. I smiled to myself as I thought of her always calling me an asshole in the beginning.

I got closer to a temporary headstone with a fresh place of dirt next to it that was starting to settle. I stopped in front of the dirt and my heart clenched. The little sign at the top lets you know it's her.

Imani Reign Peters

I stooped down to the ground and placed the flowers on top of the dirt. The flowers were assorted specifically for her, and they were her favorite colors. I wouldn't buy any meaningless flowers, not for her, not for my lioness.

I gazed up at the temporary sign. My heart aches in my chest, my eyes watering. She was gone. I didn't know what to say to begin with. Why did I even come here? Chloe told me she was going to be buried next to her mom and I came here.

I told Nikolai and Andrei to move away from me. I didn't want them near me as I spoke. I don't know where to start.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry that it ended this way," I start.

All my feelings came rushing forward, like tidal waves breaking down the barriers of an armed wall. I couldn't keep it anymore; I could no longer suppress my feelings. I fell to my knees, the soft dirt crushing under my knee, and my body felt weak.

"I have been miserable without you and I guess that's why I was so upset when you left. I knew that if you left me, I would have hated every day without you. Knowing you were happy with him and Azura, it could have been us with our baby..."

"Our b-baby, L'vista, why didn't you tell me? Why?" I ask, pleading.

The tears fall from my eyes, my cheeks wet with warm tears. I don't wipe them away or try to hide them.