eternally yours [sebastian solace x reader]

apologies

Sebastian Solace.

Your heart ached for him.

He was perfection in itself—no, he's better than perfection.

Your sole purpose in life is to love him, you're sure of it.

How could someone like you deserve someone like him?

He's too good for you.

You never deserved to be with him.

There will always be someone better than you.

The thoughts turned sour immediately, running through your head all at once.

Your heart hurt, too heavy and fragile to handle these horrible thoughts that plagued your very being.

You needed Sebastian's attention, bad. You craved it. It's all that gave your life purpose and meaning.

Why does your mind have to spiral when he's gone?

"I'm back—oh." Sebastian's eyes ran over your body. Your face was tucked into your knees, arms hugging your legs closely.

"You hate me, don't you, Seb?" Your voice felt small, too weak to be deemed a voice. How pathetic could you possibly get?

"I—" You cut him off, "don't lie to me." Your eyes stared into his bright blue ones, you couldn't even recognize him. His face was nothing but a giant mess, obstructed by your tears of pure anger.

"[Name], I love you, don't say that." His words felt like a lie. Everything he told you felt like a lie. How could he hurt you like this? Didn't he love you?

"You're a fucking liar." You spoke through gritted teeth, angry tears streaming down your face.

The only thing circling in his head was what could have possibly went wrong. You were so sweet and happy earlier, what did he do wrong? Sebastian tried to reason with you, but you stormed out of his hideout. He didn't bother chasing you, figuring that you needed alone time.

Sebastian stared at the spot you were curled up in. He knew you didn't mean those harsh words... Right?

You ran as far away as you could from his hideout. You hated him. You hated Sebastian. You wanted him dead.

He didn't care about you. He wouldn't even run after you. You would have done it in a heartbeat—

Oh.

Oh.

You ruined everything. You sabotaged a beautiful relationship because of your selfishness. Why...?

You hadn't even realized it. Your legs gave out, stopping right in front of an office room.

You quickly scrambled into it, hiding in the corner next to a locker. Your body curled up into fetal position.

Everything hit all at once.

Guilt.

Anger.

Sadness.

It felt horrible. Your emotions controlled you as if you were some puppet. Why? You felt so helpless. You just wanted to be in his arms in the safety of his hideout.

'Shit...' Sebastian was getting lost, he realized he shouldn't have let you run off like that.

"[Name]?" His voice called out for you, yet there was no trace. It was almost as if you had vanished into thin air.

His tail slithered faster and faster, desperate to find you.

Something bad could have happened. Had an angler come by? Oh, fuck.

Muffled sobs stopped him in his tracks, he followed the noise.

Sebastian had to catch his breath before he entered the opened room. "[Name]?" He spoke softly, noticing your once again curled up body.

"D—Don't look at me! Go away!" You cried out, hugging your knees even tighter.

The sight made his heart break. Sure, he's seen you like this numerous times, but that doesn't lessen the reality of the situation.

He moved closer to you, scooping you up into his arms despite your broken sentence telling him not to.

You punched his chest, sobbed, and screamed while he held you. "I— don't deserve..."

Your cries came to a halt. You had exhausted yourself enough to where you fell asleep.

Your cheeks were tear stained, but Sebastian wiped them away.

"I got you."

You woke up, were you dead?

A blinding yellow light came into view. It was Sebastian's lure.

The memory of your actions came flooding back, and you nearly started crying again before he held you close.

"It's okay. I promise. I love you, and I always will no matter what."

"You don't mean that." You sniffled, a tear falling from your eye.

"I do. I mean it. I love you with every fiber of my being." His left hand made its way onto your face, gently caressing it.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You shut your eyes, hot tears falling down your cheeks.

"It's okay, I promise. I know you don't mean it." Sebastian leaned back so that you would be half lying on him.

"I love you, okay?" He pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

In the blink of an eye, you felt somewhat better. No hatred or guilt enveloped your being. Ah. Finally.

Peace in your mind.