(PAUSED) Changes (Suicidal Kirishima x Bakugo)

First day of school *sighs*

TW: Cutting/Self-Harm

Kirishima's POV

I took a sigh of relief when I realized that it was all just another nightmare. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time, only to realize that I slept over my alarm. I quickly rose out of bed and stood up, but immediately fell backwards as a sharp pain rose in my head. I forgot about the fact that I sometimes get these headaches everytime I wake up from such dreams like that.

I was forced to sit there for a couple of minutes before the pain subsided just enough for me to get up and get ready for school. It was my first day in my new school, and I didn't want to make a bad impression by being late. I didn't even bother spiking my hair up, and decided to leave it down, as I put my blazer and exited out of my room. I walked down the stairs, only to not find my mom there, which I didn't mind because she can get cranky in the morning. I grabbed a banana sitting at the fruit table, and stepped out of the house, walking to my new school.

I hope this banana will last till the end of the day..

...

*After the walk*

I stood in front of the big gates, the gates that could lead me to be the best hero that I ever can! I needed to be better than my dad, atleast that's what my mom told me, but that doesn't matter! I'm here to make her and myself proud.

I stepped into the building with confidence, but all of that faded away once I saw how many people were there. A lot of students were all over the place, and I started to panic.

What if I can't find my way to class? I really underestimated how many students would be here. I should've figured this out sooner, but I don't have a backup plan. I can't fail myself again!

I suddenly remembered that I got a schedule, so I grabbed it and took a look at my first class. I started walking down the hallways, and after a couple of seconds, I already found it.

Thank god it's not that far away. I took a sigh of relief as I turned the doorknob. The door creaked open, and I stepped in, and saw multiple eyes looking at me. I went into a little panic, but calmed myself down, reminding myself that I was new and they didn't recognize me. I looked down at the floor and took a random seat somewhere in the middle rows. Class wasn't going to start in another 5 minutes, so I took out my headphones and played some music. Music always helps me calm down, plus it drowns any unnecessary background noise. It really means a lot to me.

Time flew by quick, and before I knew it, I saw the teacher step in. He was carrying a yellow sleeping bag, and looked really tired. I felt concerned for him, so I raised my hand.

"What is it, Kirishima?"

"Um, sir, are you okay? You look really tired." I gulped the lump in my throat as I realized that everyone was staring at me, like I was dumb or something. After a few awkward seconds, a laugh was heard behind me. I turned around and saw this ashy blonde haired dude laughing at my question.

"He always looks and is tired, dumbass." 

I looked down at my desk in realization and shame.

"Take it easy Bakugo, he's just new and probably hasn't met me yet." He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

Class continued like normal, with them going through notes and all. I tried to catch up to the best of my ability, but by the end of class, I was still kind of behind. I flipped through my math textbook to the topic that we were discussing in class, and saw what I needed there. I stood up, and bumped into someone, dropping my textbook right on my foot. I winced in pain and looked up to see Bakugo glaring down at me angirly.

"Can't you see where you're going, I almost tripped because of you!" He yelled at my face as he grabbed me by the collar. Sweat was dripping down my face, as I was trying to explain myself.

"Bakugo, uh-hey! It was just an accident, I swear-"

A yellow haired guy came out of nowhere and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down Bakugo, I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it. Plus he's new, so just let it slide?" He said in a calm tone. Bakugo sighed, and let go of me unexpectedly, making me lose my balance and fall straight on my back. 

"Pathetic." He mumbled as he walked away. The yellow haired guy walked up to my and offered his hand.

"I'm sorry about that, he can be pretty short tempered." He whispered, looking around to make sure that Bakugo wasn't around. "My name's Kaminari, what's yours?" 

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He just sat there, confused, which was making me even more nervous. I couldn't take it anymore, and ran out of the door into the bathroom across. I locked myself in a stall, and took out my phone case. Inside of it was an emergency blade, which was only used in emergency situations, but I just needed something else to focus on. My mind was in a haze, repeating that same word over and over in my head, which was starting to bug me. I rolled up my sleeves, and aimed my arm diagonally, and made a shallow cut. I did it a few more times, before doing the same in the other arm, but a little deeper. Some of them bled a little, which was solved by some toilet paper. I didn't cut too deep, so hopefully when they get a little irritated, they won't start bleeding through my blazer. I washed my hands, looking at the reflection of the mirror. I know I looked decent, but for some reason, I felt a little...fat. Like I was eating too much, which is bad because I'm trying to lose weight and gain muscle, not the other way around. I felt that everytime I looked in a mirror. It's like my mind is an enemy of its own, and just generally doesn't like me, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I look somewhat good.

I dried my hands with a paper towel and walked out of the bathroom, not even bothering to go to my next class, and went straight through the school gates. There was no point in going back and facing more humiliation, so I just started walking back home.

*After the walk*

My house was getting closer and closer, and as I was just 10 feet away from it, my eyes widened in terror: my mom's car was parked.

That meant she was home.....

oh no.

I slowly opened the door, trying to minimize the sound as much as possible. Thinking I'm in the clear, I took a step up the stairs, and felt someone hold a grip on my backpack and pull me back. 

"And where do you think you're going?"

I looked down to the floor, not uttering another word. It was my mom, and I knew she was going to go off at me for leaving school so soon.

"Doesn't school end in a couple hours? Why are you here?"

See?

I didn't even bother to make some excuse, and continued to look at the floor. She then forced my head up, and gave me a tight slap. The bottle of alcohol she was holding was smashed on my head, which started throbbing and bleeding.

"Did you make any friends or even paid attention in class? You just can't seem to do anything right. There is no point even sending you to that school if your just going skip it and act like it's nothing. It's a waste of money. Be useful for once, and actually obey me, you useless brat." She turned to slump at the couch, as I slowly made my way upstairs. By the time I reached my room, I felt really dizzy, and my head was killing me. I wobbled my way to the cabinet and grabbed a gauze, wrapping my head around it, along with a gauze pad to put pressure on the wound that was on my head. I then flopped on my bed, and just started playing some calming music out loud. It helped me drown my thoughts and sink deeper into a peaceful slumber.

"I hope everything is better tomorrow." I mumbled as I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.