The Cold Prince

30

Word Count: 1848

~Avila

I stare out the transport window, chewing my fingernail down to the nail bed.

Unfamiliar land passes by in a blur. Evening is sprawling out across the green meadows, dousing them in coral and orange. I want to enjoy seeing all this new, beautiful land.

But I can't stop thinking about my speech I made to this small village, which has been our first spot.

"How do you think that went?" I turn to face Roel and Vade, who sit with me in the carriage.

Vade performed well. He speaks with such ease and confidence, and the doe-eyed looks he receieved from the public made it clear they love him.

Me, not so much.

"Well. You spoke very clearly," Roel assures me kindly, although the lines around his eyes are more crinkled than usual. That tense grimace hasn't lifted from him since we left the manor.

"They are going to know I'm not the same as I once was," I insist.

I stumbled over the first few sentences on my speech cards. After that, I could barely raise my gaze over the people. The moment I did, I saw a mixture of reactions.

Some seemed pleased to see me. Others looked confused at my presence, while most looked like they were picking apart my entire existence.

"No they won't think anything is different about you," Roel reassures me. "You did very well."

"I hope so..."

"They didn't know you very well, remember," Roel offers.

"None of us did," Vade mutters, staring out the window.

I sigh, shifting uncomfortably. He seems more comfortable around me, but he clearly still wants us to keep a healthy distance. By the quick, subtle glances he passes in my direction, I can tell that won't last long.

"They were looking at me like I was a monster, like I should be studied in a lab," I grumble.

"You were sick for some time. People are just curious about how your parents dealt with the issue," Roel explains, jolting slightly as the carriage makes it way over the bumpy road. "Telling people you were dead, only for it to be revealed that you were alive is a tough pill to swallow for some."

"Venna and Pria have told me the rumours. Some people think I came back from the dead, or that I'm cursed."

Roel's lips form a grim line. "If those rumours are true, they are small and insignificant."

I wrap my arms around myself. I'm not so sure. I don't think they would have mentioned it to me if the rumours weren't picking up enough traction to get around.

"I wouldn't worry, Avila," Vade murmurs, his eyes shifting to me. "You did well."

I pull my lower lip between my teeth, turning my head to hide my smile. Just like that, a few words of comfort from him is making me feel better immediately.

Vade tells the truth. If he thinks I did well, maybe I did do well.

We make it back to where we are saying just as night falls over the land completely. This place is large country home that is owned by my father. When is isn't being used for royal tours like this, it houses people.

"Now you two, it's time to relax," Roel says as we walk through the main doors. "I believe Venna is waiting to have a drink with you both in her room."

"You don't want to come?" I ask lightly.

He rubs his face. "I need to sleep. I don't do well with travelling."

"Alright. Goodnight then." I give him a hug before watching him disappear behind the stairs. He's taken the only lower level room due to his mobility issues.

"Don't drink too much. We continue to our next destination tomorrow," Roel calls out distantly.

"We won't," Vade assures him.

I shift from foot to foot, lowering my gaze. It's still hard to look at Vade without thinking about our night together after the wedding. Graphic images seem to appear unbidden into my mind the moment I meet his gaze, and it's becoming hard to endure, especially since I'm trying not to get near enough to touch him.

"Shall we?" He asks, motioning up the stairs.

We make our way wordlessly to Venna's room. She arrived this morning before we left to make the speech. She has obligations from her family to make appearances to places like this, but I'm glad for her presence.

She is sitting with her legs crossed on her bed, back against the headboard as Vade and I walk in.

She immediately jumps up, her deep green eyes sparking with life. "There you two are. I've been waiting."

"Did hear the speech?" I ask her.

"I did. You both did so well," she says, before her smile falters a touch. "Although to be completely honest..."

"What?" I press.

She sighs, walking over a long-legged table at the edge of the room with bottles of alcohol and glasses on it. "You two need to do a better job at looking like you're in love."

I look at Vade with wide eyes. He doesn't react.

"I think I was just so in my head about saying the right words that I forgot about it," I admit, rubbing the back of my neck.

I've been dressed in this horrible, fluffy white dress that looks eerily similar to wedding dress, and forced out in front of a crowd of people with little practice. The light was directly in my eyes, and I could feel my heart beating in my throat.

"It's fine, Avila," Vade says softly, shrugging off his jacket.

"If you want people to believe in you, you need to sell your relationship," Venna notes, pouring some amber liquid into three glasses with expert precision.

Vade shakes his head. "Alright Venna. We get it."

"Anyways, drink up you two." She hands up both a glass, mustering some positivity into her expression. "This is going to be a long trip, and we need to be hydrated in the best possible way."

"Absoloutely." Vade brings the rim of the glass to his mouth and downs the liquid in one go. I take a tentative sip, screwing my face up at the bitter taste.

Venna sits back down on the bed, stretching out.

"You remember Tilly, right Vade?" Venna asks suddenly.

He looks down into his empty glass, leaning against the wall. "Tilly? I don't think so."

"She was the girl who snuck into the palace to meet you." Venna laughs a little at the memory. "She got all the way into your room and was waiting for you."

I frown. Weird. Obviously this happened before I died, because I have no memory of this at all.

Vade laughs. A genuine, amused laugh that skates over my skin. He doesn't do that very often, and hearing Venna cause it has my stomach turning a little bit.

I know she felt something for him once. What if she still does?

"Ah, yes, that's right." He strolls over to the drinks table. "Thank you very much, Venna. I was trying not to think about her again."

She flops down on her stomach, blinking up at Vade. "Anyways, Pria befriended her."

"Seriously?"

"Uh huh. The girl 'bumped' into Pria while she was out shopping, and our innocent friend went along with the whole thing," Venna giggles into her hand, shaking her head in bewilderment.

I watch on silently, not sure where my place is in this conversation. I wish I could remember this, but as usual, there is only a dark void in my mind.

"She better be careful she's not being stalked," Vade states, pouring himself another drink. When he turns, he faces Venna completely, his back to me.

I glance at the door, unsure if I should leave them to reminisce, or if I should stand by awkwardly and feel like more of an alien than I already do.

"It's probably just to get to you," Venna says, her voice turning sultry. She doesn't take her eyes off Vade for a second, even as she takes a long sip of her drink.

"Oh well, he's married now," I state.

Vade turns, the slightest line creasing between his brows. Venna pauses, blinking a couple of times before she sits up properly.

"That doesn't stop some people," she exclaims. "You better be careful, Avila. Someone may offer themselves to your husband. It's not uncommon."

My teeth grit together. I have no right to be protective over Vade. Our relationship isn't conventional, and just because he gave me better sex than I could probably ever find elsewhere, doesn't mean I can stake a claim to him.

But I don't care about rational thought right now. I don't want my friend getting with my husband.

"You're had far too much to drink," Vade tells Venna, gesturing at her glass. He can clearly see my agitation.

"I'm sorry." Venna sets her drink down on the bedside before laying a palm over her forehead. "I just...you know, thought you didn't want anything to do with him."

"I'm not the same person I was, Venna," I bite out.

Her cheeks flush and she lowers her gaze sheepishly. "Oh. Of course."

Vade looks between us. He's smart to stay silent. Venna told me before that he rejected her advances once, and I know he wouldn't get with her now, but it still feels uncomfortable to watch them interact.

"I think I should get some sleep," I state, draining my glass before wiping my mouth, trying not to gag at the taste.

"No...stay, I'm sorry," Venna begs, getting up from the bed.

"Don't be," I say, forcing a smile. "You two catch up. I know you were friends or...whatever, before everything."

"Avila..."

I don't hear the rest of what Vade has to say as I walk from the room, closing the door firmly behind me.

I'm overreacting, I know that. I'm exhausted from travelling, and my nerves are all over the place since the wedding. Well, the wedding night, to be exact.

How am I supposed to go through life not wanting to be with Vade properly?

I make it to my room, bathe and ready myself to bed. When I finally slip beneath the cool sheets, I'm left to my rampant thoughts.

Vade is my husband. That has to mean something, right?

I glance at the door. Has Vade returned to his room by now, or is he still chatting to Venna?

Once I realise I'm not going to get a wink of sleep until I know, I hop out of bed before padding over to Vade's room. If he's not there, then I can rush back to bed and pretend like this didn't happen.

Raising my arm, I knock firmly on the door, and sure enough, he opens it.

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