The year of goodbyes - Lashton

1

How do you know it's time to say goodbye? Time to leave everything behind and move on, not always to something better, but something different. How are you supposed to even say goodbye?

Luke didn't have any of it figured out, only that he knew he had to. There wouldn't be many goodbyes to give, since most of the people he cared about had faded out of his life, one way or another.

Luke was always certain of what he wanted, even two seconds after being asked if he wanted blue or green bedroom walls. He wanted yellow. He put up a good fight towards his dad, but still ended up with green walls. A colour he would quickly cover with yellow, a weekend he was home alone.

He even knew from a very young age that he was gay, and wanted to study law. But as he once again opened a letter, stating that the school was sorry to inform him he hadn't gotten in, he knew his luck and energy was spent.

It was time to say goodbye, leave everything behind, and just get it over with. But there were several things he would need to do, before he could say goodbye.

He started out small, giving away his unused clothes, only keeping a few outfits, so he'd at least get to leave in clean clothes. The thought of having dirty pants on for his final goodbye, just didn't sit well with him.

Next step was to end his rental agreement. It would have to wait four months to line up with his plans, but it gave him enough time to get rid of everything, and fix it enough for the landlord to not get mad at him.

He even quit his job, knowing he had enough in his savings to get him by for the six months, hell, even for ten months if that was the plan. His boss probably wouldn't care, the store manager more occupied with trying to woo the young cashier girls.

He never got a pet, despite how much he wanted to, but in the end that made it easier. How do you explain to a potential next owner that you're giving up your pet, not because you want to, but because you just won't be around anymore.

He had set a reminder on his phone to cancel his subscriptions, not that there were many. Most nights he'd just watch one of his twenty DVD's, despite how much money he paid for streaming services.

His mind was already made up, and nothing could stop him. Life hadn't been kind to him, and it was no longer worth fighting for anything. He had already written his note, and made sure the e-mail containing it wouldn't be sent out until the 4th.

October 3rd would be Luke's last day alive.

-

There weren't any beef flavoured ramen left, and that upset Luke. Quite a lot as well. It was the only flavour that was edible, and ramen was cheap and easy. This meant that he would have to actually put energy into his dinner tonight, and then energy into cleaning the dishes after.

Even just walking to the shop to get groceries seemed like too much work, but the last three times he's had it delivered, they've forgotten the butter. He wasn't even in the mood to try out another brand, with the fear of him not liking it running through him.

He ended up strolling through the aisles, trying to find just something he liked, that was easy and cheap. Nothing came into view or thought, and he was contemplating if it was a sign that he shouldn't wait 6 months.

But as he returned to the ramen, there was suddenly two packs on the shelf. Some guy was standing there, reading the label of the chicken flavour. He looked up, meeting Luke's eyes, and a strange feeling went through both of them.

''Oh sorry, am I in the way?''

The guy, with some of the most beautiful eyes Luke had ever seen, took a step back from the shelf, bumping into a pile of boxed behind him, which resulted in them all getting knocked over. A small gasp left Luke, ready to catch the tumbling boy.