Casual Intimacy

[9] The Aftertaste of Us

[ Savannah's p.o.v ]

I quickly went inside. Going into my room. My back pressed onto my door, as I slid onto the floor. Tears began pouring from my eyes. "I'm so fucking stupid!" I sobbed, hugging my knees. I broke it of because I didn't want him to feel trapped. I know he wants to fuck other girls. Who am I to stop him from doing the usual. We're friends I want him to be happy. I shouldn't feel any type of way. I wanna fuck other guys, don't I? Do I?! I don't even know what I want. I just know, that we let this go in for way too long..............

The week flew by quickly, so it's now the weekend. I haven't seen Carter. Even in the few classes we share together. He won't answer my calls or texts. I feel so helpless. "Ugh" I groaned, my hands rubbing my face, as lied in bed. He's angry with me, completely ignoring me. I didn't think he would care, I thought he'd be happy. I didn't want him to feel like he was stuck with me, like he couldn't be with other people. My phone ringing snapped me out of thought. "Hi Briar" I answered, trying straighten my voice. "Whats wrong?" She asks, causing me to clear my throat.

"Nothing, I just woke up" I claim, although I feel like shit. I haven't seen Carter in days. The longest I've ever been away from him, was only some hours. "Okay, uhm.... You going to Mason's party tonight" Briar asks, causing me to sigh. I love party's, but one of the reasons I love them isn't talking to me. "I don't know" I tell her, getting up from bed. "What!? You, Savannah Marie Taylor, doesn't know if she wants to party?" Briar says, in disbelief, causing me to sigh.

"It's because I don't have a ride" I tell her, lying. "Why? Carter won't take you?" She questions, causing me to gulp. "Uhm, he's just been busy, I don't wanna bother him" I claim, she responds with silence. "Bri?" I say, trying to get her attention. "I'll come get you, if you wanna come" she answered, causing me to think. I guess it'd be good if I got out, and maybe I'll run into Carter. Hopefully.............

I put on a tight black romper, with some thigh high boots. My hair down. I quickly go outside getting into Briar's car. "You look cute" she says, starting the car. "Thank you" I half smiled, buckling in...........

It's been a few hours, and I'm dancing and drinking, like I usually do at parties. The only difference is, Carter isn't with me. "Hey" some guys says, causing me turn around. It was a tall hot guy. "Wanna dance?" He asks, I inhaled, not really caring for his advances. I usually pounce at whatever guy would let me, but this time I didn't want to. "Sure" I say, as I continued to dance. he put his hands on my hips, to which I quickly removed. I didn't want him to touch me. Not realizing it, I wanted the feeling of Carter's skin on mine, to linger. He then leaned down, kissing me. I pushed him away, not wanting anyone to kiss me. "I said yes to dancing. Not anything else" I tell him, serious. He rolled his eyes. "Whatever" he says, walking away.

I then went to get a drink, accidentally bumping into someone. "Sorry" I say, looking up. Seeing Carter, I inhaled. "No problem" he claims, looking at me with a blank expression. "Where- where have you been?" I ask, my voice cracking. He looks at me and scoffs. "Don't you have someone to dance with, or kiss" he sneers, walking away. "Carter" I say, following him out of the house. "Carter" i repeat, causing him to turn to me.

"If you wanted to fuck other guys, just say that! But don't make it seem like you ended it because of me" he states, pissed. "I didn't want you to feel to trapped, or-" I began to say. "Or what?!" He shouted, causing me to swallow my words. "How are you gonna make a choice based off of what you thought I wanted?" He questions, as I tried to stop tears from falling from my eyes. "I-I don't know, okay" I admit, causing him to fold his lips. I don't know if I did for him, or for me. I don't know what my reason was. I just convinced myself, I did for him. "You wanted to end it, for you. So stop pretending" he tells me, then walks away. "Carter" I mumbled, not being able to elevate my voice. If I did, I knew I would've started crying. "I fucked up" I mumbled, my voice brittle, unable to stop myself. As tears began streaming down my face.