Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid.....
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August 29th, 2020
Derrick and I pulled into the driveway of Olivia's grandparents house. We stayed an extra two days and just got back from the DR and the first thing I wanted was to pick up my baby.
"This is literally going to take two minutes, if that." Derrick nodded his head pecking my lips softly before I got out. I walked up the steps pressing the door bell. His family moved to Houston shortly after we made the move. I still don't know why they had to follow us.
A few moments Jada, Tyrone's younger sister, opened the door. She and I are the same age and we were once close friends but once she found out I was leaving her brother she became very nasty towards me. "You can tell your pimp to park on the street."
I rolled my eyes chuckling. "Im not even going to entertain your immaturity Jada. Where is my daughter?" Jada slammed the door in my face as I balled my hands up looking back at the truck and Derrick was standing outside of it watching. He shook his head giving me the calm down motion with his hands. I took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling. The door opened back up and Olivia was standing in front of me but with a different hairstyle than what I left her in. I braided her natural hair into medium box braids because that is what she wanted and it's a low maintenance for her grandma to maintain. It's now taken down, coarse, in two strands twist and her scalp is super red. I can just tell they gave her a relaxer and it burned her hair and scalp. I was fuming and I was about to go off but not until I got Olivia off the porch.
"Hey baby girl." She ran into my legs gripping me tight. "Uh what happened to your hair? Did you take it out?"
"Yea-." I put my hand up to shut Jada up because my child is very articulate and can speak for herself. "No daddy and grandma said my hair was ugly. I liked it mommy." I looked up at Jada and she had a smug look on her face. "Is your mom home?"
"No just me." I chuckled shaking my head tucking my lips in. "Go get in the car sweetie. I have some presents in there for you." Her eyes lit up as she ran off towards the car greeting Derrick with a big hug as he helped her in the car closing the door.
"Since your mom supposedly isn't here and I'm going to assume your brother was on the phone since he's supposed to be at the rehab center like his lawyer said he was, I'll confirm that information later, I want you to rely a message for me sweetie." I stepped closer to her poking her shoulder. "For a baby your fucking brother almost beat the fuck out of me, claimed wasn't his and barely took care of, the decisions I've made so far on her hair and everything else has worked out for her so damn far. Now if I so much as bring MY CHILD over her again and so much as a rubber band I put in her head is moved I'll put my foot so far up whoever's ass I need to I'll be able to stomp their fucking brain out. Y'all burned my baby scalp with a fucking relaxer because y'all don't know how to take care of her hair type but that's okay because if I find out that son of a bitch is here and not in rehab where he's supposed to be no one will see Olivia again." I left her standing in the doorway with her jaw on the floor. Derrick jumped out and came around opening my door. "You good baby?"
I nodded my head waving Jada off. "Yeah I'm good I'm not so sure they'll be." I climbed up into the truck and once I was fully inside beside Olivia's booster seat Derrick closed the door and got back in on his side as he told the driver where to go next.
I was standing in my kitchen preparing dinner for myself and Olivia while she played in the living room. Derrick was going to come back by for a little bit with DJ after his soccer practice. As I hummed along to my 90's playlist my phone started ringing. I checked my Apple Watch and it was a blocked number so I ignored it. It called right back and I ignored it again.
About 15 minutes went by and I was putting my pound cake in the oven as my phone rung again. I sighed deeply pulling it out my back pocket answering without looking. "Hello?" I closed the oven and turned back around to clean up the cake mess. "Bonjou Omarosa."
At that moment it felt like time stopped. I felt chills from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. I was stuck in place. I haven't heard this voice in 13 years but I could never forget it. I've avoided everything about him whenever I had my twice a year phone call with my oldest brother. "How did you get my number?"
"Oh my sweet daughter..." I was so dumbfounded. Oscar knows I want nothing to do with our father as he barely had a relationship and doesn't pressure me but OJ is very persistent with me reconciling a relationship with him. "I've been waiting all these yeas to hear your voice again. I want to come see you and have a chat."
"I have nothing to say to you. Please do not call me again." I hung up the phone immediately. I gripped the counter so hard my knuckles turned white. I'm so angry with OJ for giving him my number without asking me. He knew the answer would be no. I don't want to see him, speak to him, reconcile with him, or forgive him. The abuse and trauma I endured because of him haunts me till this day. I don't think I'll ever have it in my soul to forgive him.
I dialed OJ's number holding my phone up to my ear walking out to the balcony. "And to what do I owe this pleasure of a phone call from princess Omarosa?"
"The fact that your hardheaded ass doesn't listen. Why would you give that man my number?"
"You seem to forget that man is your father Omarosa, don't disrespect him." I scuffed shaking my head not surprised at OJ's reaction. OJ was living out the legacy of being a junior to a T. He was always my father's shadow and treated me very similarly to our father but it was drilled into him, the old school thinking, so he took on some of those ideologies. I tried not to hold it against him but it's hard sometimes.
"You had no right to give my number to anyone especially someone I want nothing to do with." His deep hearty laughter ringed through the phone. "You need to leave the past in the past and grow up."
"OJ, the trauma I experienced from this man altered my life forever. You weren't there for me to understand that so don't tell me to leave shit in the past! He is the reason my daughter, nieces and nephews don't have a grandmother. I said what I said OJ. Don't you end up on my block list next." I hung up the phone immediately letting out a deep breath massaging my temples. That is usually how our conversations go.
A knock at my condo door broke my train of thought. I shook my body to get rid of the physical pain this just brought to my body. I felt sick. I walked over to the door looking through the peephole seeing Derrick and DJ. I put a smile on my face as I opened the door. I don't want Derrick to know about what just happened. I want to keep the bad part of my life and past cut off from this one...my present and future life...the good parts.
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