always & forever

Part 12 - The Audacity Of Men

Camille's POV

This was death. The way he looked at me, broke me more than anything else I'd lived through in the last decade without him. Like I was dirt beneath his feet. Like I was insignificant, an empty spot, a mere insect.

Had I meant nothing to him? All the love we shared, was nothing to him?! How dare he treat me like this after what he did?!

Giving me none of his time, James turned away and quickly walked out of the courtyard with his daughter, getting into that black SUV that I noticed earlier.

He had a daughter. She called him daddy. The thought of him being married sent a real shiver of repulsion through me. There was another woman in his life. A woman who he slept beside at night. One he shared secrets with. One he loved...like he loved me. I bet he also promised to love her forever, just like he promised me.

I was broken all over again, stripped of all the armour I'd put up over the years. All the scabs on my heart were ripped open, profusely bleeding, aching, simmering with agony.

As luck would have it, none other than Mark decided to pick me up from work that evening. After he was done fucking a random woman, he had the audacity to look me in the eyes with all the innocence of a pure angel.

I wondered why I wasn't raging inside at his cheating. I'd suspected it for months. Just like my mother back in the day, I chose to ignore it, putting up a front that I was oblivious and everything was fine. After I found out about his infidelity, every time he wanted sex, I'd make up excuse after excuse and he never got upset. Of course, why would he, he was getting plenty of it from others.

Why was I doing this to myself? Willingly walking into a marriage where I was disrespected, lied to, and eventually would be made a fool of. I knew why. My family really wanted it, pressured me, cajoled me, reassured me, convinced me. Camille marrying the mayor's son? What a lucky union.

But no matter how much you lie to yourself, you can never fully succeed. I didn't love Mark, that was obvious to me, yet I convinced myself I did. But after getting a glimpse of James for just one second, I fully remembered what love was.

"Hi sweetie, you ready to get going?" Mark spoke in his usual kind voice once he walked into my office, after chatting up one of my principal partners right outside. Oh, everyone loved Mark. He was a phenomenal actor, putting on a show of a doting and loving fiancé while his dick was still wet with some whore's saliva.

Once we dropped off Hudson, our car ride was just like always, catching up on what happened during the day. "I saw you getting into a car with a woman today. Who was she?" After seeing James, I didn't want to pretend anymore. This day was ripping open one emotional scar after another and I wanted more pain, more devastation, more tears.

Mark remained unfazed. "Hmm," he made a sound like he was trying to remember what he did that day, "Oh! Probably Maria? My secretary? We all headed to a lunch today across town." He said nothing else. What a skilled liar.

The city lights passed us by in the darkness and I felt like this was it, I didn't want to live in delusion anymore, "I know you've been cheating on me, Mark," I spoke calmly and he stayed silent. "I'd say I'm hurt but...for some reason I'm not. I just feel gross. I don't want to catch anything from you after you've been with God knows who."

"What are you talking about, sweetie?!" That definitely got a reaction out of him, "I'm not cheating on you! Why would you say or even think that?!" Ugh. I lived through all this with my mom and dad, I didn't want to repeat it with him. I also didn't want to stay in the same bed and apartment with him.