"Eclipse"

CHAPTER 39: NICOLE SAVOY POV

The day of the ball had finally arrived. It was somewhat embarrassing to admit that this would be my first ball.

Although it was a birthday celebration, the addition of a ball was meant to enliven the event.

I woke up refreshed that morning, though I wished I could visit Ruki. Unfortunately, with the tight security, it was impossible.

The weather was surprisingly clear after days of continuous rain, making the day drag on with nothing to do.

Finally, it was time to prepare for the celebration. Estelle entered with my clothing. I took them silently and went to change.

I was dressed in pants and a matching undersuit embroidered with golden threads. The ensemble already made me look more elegant and regal than usual, but when I added the white overcoat, intricately designed with royal motifs of Alveria and adorned with golden buttons, I looked even better than I had imagined.

“How do I look?” I asked Estelle, who had been silent all evening.

“You look very handsome, Your Highness,” she replied with a slight bow.

“How long are you going to keep this up?” I pressed. Normally, we reconciled after a few hours, but it had been days since we last spoke.

“I don't know what you want from me,” Estelle said. “You want me to assist you like a friend, but then inform you of everything like your servant.”

I looked at her, determined to end this argument today.

“You're not a child. You know I can't fulfill both roles,” Estelle shouted. “I understand I should have told you about the ball, but you blame me for not doing so. It's not my duty.”

“No, it was your duty,” I shot back. “It was your mistake, and you needed to hear that.”

“Don't provoke me if you don't want to hear the nasty truth before your big day,” she said.

“As if you'd ever care about my big day,” I replied.

“What?”

“If you did, you wouldn't leave me alone during my most nervous phase.”

“I didn't leave you,” she insisted.

“What do you call the ignoring part?” I demanded.

“I was taking my space. I need breaks from this circus of palace life.”

“Then why keep living it?” I asked.

“I’m bound. I have a duty. I’ve given up my dreams for this and yet I’m bound here, having to be scolded for something that isn’t even my fault.”

“Don’t act like you were born into this prison,” I said. “You chose this.”

“I chose this because I believed in you,” she replied. “I believed in the person you could become. But it seems you can’t even see that. You’re so wrapped up in your own anger and insecurities.”

“Then leave it,” I said angrily. “You aren’t bound. Go and follow your dreams.”

“I have to take care of you,” she said angrily. “Take care so you don’t make a wrong step or, if you do, you have someone to back you up.”

“What wrong steps will I take here?” I asked, confused.

She looked into my eyes, her gaze conveying what her words could not.

“Are you referring to?” I asked.

“Yes, him,” she said. “Rushford, the root of all problems.”

“Why are you bringing him into this?” I asked, feeling uneasy at the mention of him. “You promised you wouldn’t badmouth him.”

“I’m not,” Estelle said furiously. “I’m stating the truth. Tell me, are you angry because you weren’t informed or because Prince Ford didn’t inform you?”

My patience was wearing thin.

I knew I had taken my anger out on her, but it was because of the frustration I felt towards her, not anyone else. She was falsely accusing me.

“No, I wasn’t taking anyone’s anger out on you,” I shouted. “Why should I expect anything from a man who isn’t even my fiancé when even my so-called companion for life can’t make an effort to understand me?”

“What did you say?” she asked angrily.

“Yes, I said what I said. You should be supporting me, not putting me in a difficult position. How can I expect anything from a man I barely know when I can’t even expect anything from you? What have you ever done for me?” I retorted.

I was spewing nonsense. I hadn’t meant a word, but I couldn’t stop. She had been my confidante and best friend for years, always believing in me, yet I was hurting her today because of my anger.

“What have I ever done for you?” Estelle repeated, tears welling up in her eyes. “Nothing. I’ve done nothing, and I’m done. Done serving a spoiled brat like you.”

She walked toward the door angrily. “As you said, I’m not bound, right? So now I’m leaving this hellhole once and for all. Goodbye.”

I watched her walk away, trying to keep my emotions in check.

I wanted to run after her, but something inside me held me back. Her words made me realize that her soul was suffering here. She had always been a free spirit, and staying with me would only confine her.

She would never leave if we were on good terms, so maybe now that we are on bad terms, she can finally live the life she wants.

This wasn’t what I wanted to happen, but I guess anything I did would only make it worse.

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror and left in the opposite direction from where my heart desperately wanted to go.

I went to the ball.