Just don't go

Chapter 5- My father

 First day back at school

I grabbed my school bag and slung it over my shoulder, wincing slightly at the small amount of pain it still caused me. I was just perfecting my hair in the mirror when my little brother came storming into my room.

"Oh my god, Jackson! Learn to knock you little rat!"

"Don't be mean to me, Lizzy, or I'll tell mum"

"Ugh you're too old for telling mummy now, go get a girlfriend or something"

"Dad told me I can get a girlfriend when I want to get a girlfriend"

"Dad's not here any more, is he?"

"Yea, but Steven said that too"

"Stevens not our dad"

I glared at him, assuring him that whatever I say is right.

"I know that"

"The point is, you're 14. Stop crying to mummy when you want her. She has enough on her plate"

"Anyway, what I was going to say is that Steven asked if you want to come bowling today"

That man had only been dating my mother for a month and a half and had already brainwashed my brother and sister into thinking he's thebomb.com!

"Tell him I'll come"

I forced a fake smile onto my face for mum's sake. She really liked Steven, and he seemed like a great guy. I just didn't understand why he was getting so chummy with us so fast. I like him myself, but he seems to be getting a bit too close, too quickly. I understand why mum needs him, but no-one can ever replace dad. Jackson and Missy wouldn't understand. I was 8 when dad left us. Missy was 1. Jackson was 6. I guess Jackson understands. But he never knew dad as much as I did. I knew him for 2 more years. And that's a lot.

He left us when mum started to get ill. I remember. 

Mum got cancer. Dad got scared. Dad left.

That's the story, and I know I should hate him. He left a terminally ill woman with 3 infants.

But he was such a great dad to me. He understood everything about me, and I still can't believe that my dad, my hero, left my mother because she got cancer. It's true, though. I was there. I remember he said he "couldn't deal with 3 kids and a sick wife".

My mother was heartbroken. But soon, she was cleared of cancer and she fought on stronger, cared for us more. Although my father was the love of her life, she soldiered on. If anything, she loved us 10 times as much - we were all she had left.

Me and Jackson know the real story, and it's still hard for us to come to terms with, but the story we tell Missy is that he left without a reasonable explanation. If she asks for more information, we refuse it.

It's easier that way.

For all of us.