before you leave

chapter 1

Hazan

Lying on her bed, she stared up at the ceiling, trying to numb herself to the flood of emotions coursing through her. The room around her was now bare.....no remnants of the life she had lived here, no trace of the woman who had once called this place home. Her suitcase was packed, standing by the door like a silent witness to her decision to leave everything behind.

As she lay there, her thoughts began to wander, to the people she was leaving behind. She thought of her mother, and her sister, who had always been her responsibility, even when Hazan had resented it. She thought of the house they had shared, the city that had been both a prison and a home and the life she had tried so hard to escape. But most of all, she thought of him.....Yagiz.

A sigh escaped her lips as she finally forced herself to sit up. She looked around the room one last time, trying to imprint the sight of it on her memory. This where the place she felt like she can do it on her own, place where she had fought with her mother, comforted her sister, and dreamed of a different life. But it was also where she had realized that her heart was no longer her own. It belonged to Yagiz, whether she wanted it to or not.

Just as she was about to close her eyes and let herself be lost in thought again, her phone rang, shattering the fragile peace she had been trying so hard to hold onto. She clicked her tongue in annoyance, scolding herself for not turning the phone off earlier. After all, she had lied to everyone, telling them she was leaving today when, in reality, she wouldn’t be gone until tomorrow. She didn’t want any tearful goodbyes or desperate pleas to stay. She just wanted to slip away quietly, without any more drama.

But as she glanced at the screen, her irritation melted away, replaced by a feeling she both loved and hated. Yagiz. Just seeing his name there was enough to make her blush, and she felt the now-familiar fluttering in her stomach that she wished she could ignore. She hated the way he made her feel so out of control, so vulnerable, but there was no denying the pull he had on her.

Her hand trembled slightly as she answered the call, her heart racing even though she tried to convince herself it was nothing. On the other end, there was a brief pause before she heard his voice, hesitant and uncertain.

“Hello… Hazan,” he said, his voice a little shaky, as if he was as nervous as she felt.

She didn’t trust herself to speak, so she stayed silent, hoping he would take the hint and let her go. But he didn’t. Instead, he pressed on, the tension in his voice becoming more apparent.

“I was wondering if I could meet you before… before you leave,” he said, the words tumbling out quickly, like he was afraid he would lose his nerve if he waited too long.

Every part of her wanted to say yes, wanted to see him one last time before she left this life behind. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t afford to give in to what she felt, not now, when she was so close to getting away. So she lied, hating herself for it even as the words left her mouth.

“I don’t have much time,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’m leaving in an hour.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and for a moment, she thought he might give up, let her go without another word. But then, his voice came through again, softer this time, almost pleading.

“I won’t take much of your time… I’ll meet you in front of the plaza, in the parking lot,” he said, and she could hear the desperation he was trying to hide.

She regretted agreeing even before she spoke the word, but it was as if the decision had already been made, somewhere deep inside her, before she even had a chance to fight it.