before you leave

chapter 4

Hazan

She woke up slowly, her body still lingering in the warmth of sleep, the soft haze of dreams clinging to her as her eyes fluttered open. For a moment, she felt a surge of happiness wash over her, a glow that radiated from her chest. The memories of the day she had spent with Yagiz were so vivid, so real. The way they laughed together, the quiet moments they shared, and that kiss...so tender, so full of emotion.....had felt like the beginning of something. She allowed herself to smile, savoring the happiness that filled her heart.

But as she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the truth began to seep back in like the creeping light of dawn. It was all a dream....the illusion they create for just a day. Her heart ached with the realization, the fantasy of yesterday vanishing as reality settled in. She wished she could hold on to it, keep that one day, that perfect day with Yagiz, but it was gone.

She turned her head to the giant window in her bedroom, the one that overlooked the garden. The trees outside swayed gently in the breeze, their leaves whispering in the early morning light. It was peaceful, the kind of calm that should have brought comfort. The birds were singing, their cheerful songs filling the air with life. Yet, it only deepened the hollow feeling inside her. She wished she could feel the serenity the world outside offered, but she couldn't. All she could feel was the ache of what could never be.

With a heavy sigh, she sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She stared down at the floor for a moment, trying to gather the strength to face the day. Their fate was sealed....hopeless. She had known it for a while, but it didn't make it any easier. Yagiz was the only right person in her life, the only one who had ever truly understood her. But that didn't matter. Fate had a way of mocking them, of keeping them apart despite the depth of their love.

As she dressed herself, she couldn't stop the flood of questions racing through her mind. Why had this happened to them? Why had she been so stubborn for so long? If only she had realized sooner that she loved him. Maybe things could have been different. Maybe they could have had more time, could have fought harder against the world that refused to let them be together.

She buttoned her shirt and took a deep breath, forcing herself to push down the rising tide of emotions. This was it. There was no more time for what-ifs. She had made her choices, and now she had to live with them.

When she opened the door, the scent of breakfast greeted her. It was a warm, homey smell that reminded her of simpler times.....times before everything had become so complicated. She walked quietly toward the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Yagiz stood at the counter, his back to her, chopping something with focused precision.

Why did this have to happen to them? Why was he the one person in her life who made everything feel right, and yet, he was the one she had to say goodbye to?

he would just be someone in her past

She watched him for a moment longer, soaking in the sight of him, the curve of his shoulders, the way his hands moved with practiced ease.

She bit her lip, the weight of regret pressing down on her. Why hadn't she let herself love him sooner? Why had she been afraid? And why, now that she had finally accepted her feelings, did it have to be too late?

Yagiz turned, his ocean-blue eyes meeting hers. For a moment, the world seemed to still. His gaze, once bright and full of life, was now dim, as if the weight of their hopless future had drained the light from them. He smiled at her, a sad, resigned smile. It was a smile that spoke of love and loss all at once, a smile that said he understood. He knew, just as she did, that there was no future for them.

They sat down to eat, the breakfast he had made already laid out on the table. His cooking never failed to amaze her. He had once joked that "a man who lives alone cooks the best," and he had been right. But today, the food tasted like ash in her mouth. The silence between them was heavy, not the comfortable silence they had shared the day before.