I Can't Love You || r.s.l (SLOW UPDATES)

24

Ross

After everyone leaves, Jamie and I go upstairs- hand in hand. She changes into something comfier as I just strip to my boxers. "I think I'm gonna shower," she sighs and grabs a towel before going into the bathroom.

I shrug, laying on the bed. I turn on the tv, letting reruns of One Tree Hill play. I went through about two episodes before getting up to check on Jamie. The shower wasn't running anymore so I knocked. "Babe, you okay?" I ask nervously.

She coughs and hiccups between sobs. She opens the door, jumping into my arms. I furrow my eyebrows, wrapping my arms around her. "I-It's all m-my fault!" She cries into my neck.

I sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing her back. "What're you talking about?" I rub her back. I widen my eyes, realizing what might've happened. I quickly lay her on the bed before running to the bathroom. "Fuck!" I yell as I run my fingers through my hair, pacing back and forth. I close and flush the toilet. "Fuck," I whisper as I walk back to Jamie.

She's curled into the blankets on her side of the bed, sobbing to herself. I walk over and sit on the edge next to her. I place my hand on her side, making her flinch. "I didn't mean it," she whimpers.

I lean down, kissing her forehead with tears streaming down my face. "It's not your fault, Jamie. Get some rest," I stand up and shut the tv off.

"Where're you going?" She lets out a sob.

I stop at the door. "I'm gonna head to the store, alright? Get some sleep, baby. I love you."

She nods, closing her eyes again. "Alright, I love you too," she sniffles.

I sigh as I start the car. When I come to a stop sign at the end of our street, I see a woman and her child chalking on the ground. I smile at the cuteness. The woman looks up at me, smiling softly. I roll down the window. "She's beautiful!" I shout about her young daughter.

"Thank you, Mr. Lynch!" The woman yells. "Where are you headed on this fine evening?" I pull over to talk to her. "On Christmas? My mom said you were engaged," she says confusedly.

That's when I realized she's Merida's daughter, McKenzie. "I was on my way to go get her a few things from the store. She had a miscarriage," I whisper the last part.

She gasps, "Oh my! I'm so sorry! Do you need anything?"

I shake my head. "No, thank you though. Merry Christmas," I hand her four hundred dollars from the middle consul.

Her eyes widen as she shakes her head. "I can't take this," she tries to hand it back.

I push her hand away. "It costs over 50,000 dollars to have a child, McKenzie. Keep it," I smile sadly.

"Thank you, Ross. Merry Christmas," she walks back to her daughter.

I drive to the store. I grab a bouquet of white roses, her favorite candies and an iTunes card. After paying and leaving, I stop at Starbucks and get her a vanilla iced coffee. I walk in the house, seeing Jamie laying on the couch. "Hey," I whisper as I kneel in front of her.

"Hi," she croaks.

I hand her the flowers. "I got you some flowers," I state the obvious.

She sits up, smelling them. "Thank you. They're beautiful," she sighs as she sets them on the end table. I hand her the coffee and the bag. "Thank you, babe," she murmurs as I climb on the couch with her.

"You're welcome," I smile as she climbs into my lap. She sits sideways, her head resting against my chest. "How are you doing, princess?" I run my fingers through her hair.

She shrugs against me. "I don't know. Are you mad at me?" She looks up with glossy eyes.

I shake my head, pressing my lips to hers. She puts her hand on my chest, pulling away. "I'm not mad at you, babe," I whisper as I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "Why're you so upset? I thought you didn't want kids," I murmur confusedly.

"I didn't. But you were so excited and.." She stands up. "And it made me happy. It made me realize that I want kids with you! I want a family with you! But I can't have that!" She sobs and runs to the kitchen.

I follow her, watching her shaky hand hold a knife up to her arm. "Babe," I whisper as I slowly walk over to her. She throws the knife across the room with a grunt, getting it stuck in the wall. I wrap my arms around her before she can collapse to the floor.