A Little Lost

Chapter Twenty One: Loss for Words

LOUIE

As Sandra and Ian walked beside me down the corridor, I noticed that Sandra was unusually quiet. Normally, she'd be chatting non-stop, so her silence was unsettling. Ian, meanwhile, kept giving me these strange, sidelong glances, making me feel even more self-conscious.

We passed a few students who were sneaking glances at us—well, more like at me. I tried to ignore their stares, but the sensation of being watched was hard to shake.

Then, a burst of color caught my eye. A group of seven students, dressed in vibrant rainbow outfits, appeared as if they'd just stepped out of a Pride parade.

"Hey there!" one of them called out with a big smile. "We're from the Pride Pages Club."

Ian looked puzzled. "Pride Pages Club?"

Sandra quickly jumped in. "They're a student organization that covers LGBTQ+ stories and issues on campus. I follow their articles online—they're interesting!"

The first student nodded eagerly. "Exactly! And we're here to interview... Louie, right?"

All eyes turned to me, and I felt a rush of anxiety. "Me? Why?"

Another student piped up, "The video of you and Derrick Thompson kissing at the party went viral. Everyone's talking about it."

Ian's confusion was obvious. "What video?"

Before I could respond, one of the students pulled out their phone and showed us the clip of Derrick and me kissing. My face went crimson with embarrassment.

"That kiss was just part of a game," I stammered. "It wasn't anything serious with Derrick."

Sandra, looking a bit guilty, chimed in, "Yeah, my best friend is right. It was just a dare."

The students didn't seem to be swayed. "Regardless of the reason, you two kissing is a big deal. Derrick Thompson kissing another guy has everyone in the LGBTQ+ community excited. We'd love to interview you about it, Louie."

Ian stepped in, his tone firm. "Sorry, but we're on our way to our classes. We can't do any of that nonsense."

The group's enthusiasm visibly deflated, but Ian's resolute expression made it clear we were leaving. As we walked away, I could feel their disappointed gazes on my back. I was relieved to escape the spotlight and get back to some semblance of normalcy.

--

The day felt like it had rushed past in a blur. Now, after an exhausting Physical Education class, I was heading to my locker, drenched in sweat and mentally drained. As I opened it, a card slipped out and fluttered to the floor.

I picked it up, and my heart sank when I saw the message.

"Die"

A chill shot down my spine. The words seemed to pulse with malice, and I felt a cold sweat forming, despite the heat. My breath quickened as I glanced around, convinced that someone was watching me from the shadows.

"Louie!" Ian's voice broke through my rising panic. He appeared behind me, his face etched with concern.

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," he said, his eyes scanning my face with worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. And please don't wait for me, go drive home with Sandra. I need to change," I said, my voice strained as I tried to sound nonchalant.

I turned quickly and headed for the restroom, relieved to find it nearly empty. The quiet of the space was a welcome reprieve from the chaos outside. I waited for the showers to clear; changing with other guys around wasn't something I was comfortable with, especially with my sexuality known.

The restroom, though mundane, felt like a temporary sanctuary. The rhythmic sound of running water and the faint hum of conversation outside provided a brief escape from the anxiety gnawing at me.

"Louie," Ian's voice called again, softer this time, as he entered the restroom.

"Oh, I thought you'd left already," I said, turning to face him.

Ian approached, his demeanor serious and a touch anxious. "I need to talk to you."

My heart raced, a mix of anticipation and apprehension swirling inside me. I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"Last night, I realized..." Ian began, his voice faltering slightly.

"Realized what, Ian?" I prompted, my curiosity piqued despite the tumult of emotions.

Ian took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto mine with a piercing intensity. "Can I ask you out?"

The fear from the card was momentarily eclipsed by a rush of butterflies in my stomach. I was flooded with emotions I hadn't expected, the vulnerability of the moment striking me hard.

Ian's nervousness was palpable, his usual confident facade momentarily slipping. "I know what we had was nothing more but purely sexual, but I realized I don't want it to just be about that anymore," he said, his tone earnest and sincere.

I stared at him, struggling to find words as my mind raced to process his confession. The weight of his admission was heavy, a sharp contrast to the earlier dread.

"I want more with you, Louie. I can't stand the idea of someone else coming between us," Ian continued, his eyes pleading, filled with a raw, desperate sincerity.

"Ian..." My voice was barely a whisper, choked by the surge of emotions.

"I don't care what others think. Please, let me take you out," Ian said, his tone steady but filled with an undercurrent of desperation.

I was at a loss for words, grappling with the decision that lay before me.

Ian stepped closer, his gaze unwavering. "Meet me. Tomorrow at 5 noon."

He handed me a slip of paper with the address of a restaurant just a block from my apartment.

He looked at me with hopeful eyes, his face a mixture of hope and fear. "If you come, it means you're saying yes."

With that, Ian turned and walked out of the restroom, leaving me alone with a storm of thoughts.

As the door closed behind him, I was left with the weight of his confession hanging in the air. The threat from the card and the unexpected hope Ian's words had sparked left me in a whirlwind of emotions. I needed time to process everything, but for now, I faced a choice that could alter everything.