Unseen University for extra magic

ADADA

Professor Dolores Umbridge, wearing her fluffy, pink cardigan and a black velvet bow, sat behind the teacher's desk. She beamed at the class and said, in her sickly sweet voice, "Well, good afternoon!"

A couple students muttered "good afternoon" halfheartedly in reply.

Under the desk, I clasped her hands together in some sort of prayer. "Please let Umbridge be a good teacher. Please let Umbridge be a good teacher. Please let Umbridge be a good teacher. I really need to pass Defense Against the Dark Arts. Please let Umbridge be a good teacher. I could put up with her voice and her outfits and her personality as long as she knew how to teach."

Umbridge shook her head. "Tut, tut. That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge."

"There, now," said Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

I put my Holly and Thunderbird feather wand away in my shoulder bag. I had a bad feeling about this. I glanced over my shoulder at Morgana and saw that her face showed the same bitterness as I felt. It looked like we were in for another year of uneducational and dull Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts classes.

"Well now," said Umbridge, rising from her seat. "Your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it? This course has not followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

She tapped the blackboard with her wand and the list of course aims appeared in curling, white writing.

When everyone else had finished writing down the course aims, Umbridge asked, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

There was a murmur throughout the class. A couple people agreed. Ashe grunted. Morgana swore under her breath.

"I think we'll try that again," said Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge."

"Good," said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners'. There will be no need to talk."

As I opened my book to chapter one, I found myself actually missing Gilderoy Lockhart and the Cornish pixies he'd set loose on the students. At least that had been entertaining.

I looked up and saw that Hermione Granger had her book closed on her desk and her hand thrust in the air. Her gaze was fixed on Umbridge, who in turn, was determinedly ignoring Granger. I was determined to pretend that Potter's two best friends didn't exist as well. However, it was difficult to ignore Granger when two-thirds of the class were staring at her instead of reading their textbooks.

Umbridge soon realized that as long as Granger's hand was in the air, the class wasn't going to get any work done. With a small tut-tut to clear her throat, Umbridge asked, "Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?"

"Not about the chapter, no," said Granger.

"Well, we're reading just now." Umbridge's voice poured over the room like honey. "If you have other queries, we can deal with them at the end of class."