Ellie Lister is one of the ex-members of one direction and still good friends with Niall and Louis. She went through a tough time after the hiatus and decides to record her first own album in 2021 during Covid, after she was the opener for Ed Sheer...
I was working on the final touches of my first album. I wrote 10 songs, but I feel like it's not completed. We are currently in quarantine, because of covid. It's been 4 years since the band split up and most of the boys all made an album and toured it. They have all moved on and I am still there. During quarantine I've got myself to start working on some new songs. I already have one song that I wrote on the plane back to Manchester, the night of our last show, but I didn't know if it is too obvious, who it is about. Before quarantine I opened up some shows for Ed, but I never really thought of doing my own shows. But now that I had the time to think about it, I am thinking of starting at small venues.
I am currently trying to finish Maroon. It's a song I wrote in the early days of my solo career. I wasn't happy how the refrain turned out, so I am trying to find other words. I am currently sitting in my studio in my apartment, trying to figure out what to write.
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It's hard to go back in time and to go over the relationship Harry and I had. I mean we were best friends, but there was always a little more. I still remember, how drunk we were the night of the VMAs 2013. We just go our award and went straight to the after party. Harry and I already started drinking in the cap. I had my legs in his lap and was leaning out of the window. So many paparazzi took pictures of us, but we didn't care. I think I've never laughed so hard in my life. I had so much fun. But our laughter were interrupted, when our driver had to make an abrupt stop, because of the paparazzi who were blocking our way. Harry's red wine, that he took from the bar at the vmas, went straight on my T-shirt. Harry looked at me like he was fearing the worst reaction from me, but I just laughed. I think I was too drunk to give a fuck about my T-shirt.
The burgundy on my T-Shirt when you splashed the wine into me
When we arrived at the after party, the rest of the boys were already waiting for us. Liam gave me a questioning look at my T-shirt. But we were quickly shoved into the bar, because of the paparazzis. That was the moment, I realised how soaked my T-shirt really was. I tapped Harry's shoulder to ask him, if he had something to wear for me. We went straight to the bathroom to change. It was common for us to change in front of each other especially during shows. He gave me his blazer jacket, which was a few sizes to big for me. I took of the shirt and put on the blazer. I only wore my black lacy bra under it, but I made it look like it was the original outfit. I buttoned the jacket up and let it fall of my shoulder so you could only see my bra on the right side. When I looked up from my new outfit, I already saw to eyes on me. He then looked up and I started to blush instantly. He looked so deep into my eyes that I felt the urge to kiss him, but I couldn't.
And how the blood rushed into my cheeks , so scarlet, it was
That was the line, that was still missing. Now this song felt right and complete. I wonder if Harry will listen to this album and when he does, if he knows which songs are about him. I am still in contact with Niall and Louis, because we all had a hard time moving on. I've visited them on their tours and they even celebrated my birthdays with me. But weirdly Harry and I lost touch. Not that I wanted it, but after we landed in Manchester, I only saw him twice. He wrote me on my birthdays and when my mum passed away one year ago. He couldn't make it to the funeral, because he played in Maddison square garden that night. He sent a huge basket of flowers with a note for my dad. Niall and Zayn were there though. I am really proud of Harry. He already wrote two albums. I think I like the first album more during fall , but FineLine more during spring and summer. I really love how the songs turned out. I can't stop listening to two ghosts. I went to one of his concerts in 2019, but I had a normal ticket, so no one really spotted me. Of course some newspapers were reporting it on the next day, but I think Harry didn't noticed it. Sometimes I wish things could go back to the way they were.
I wrote 3 songs about him on this album and the rest of the songs are about the band. It's sad to see how I still haven't moved on. I just finished maroon and then there is I miss you, I'm sorry, which I wrote recently after I randomly scrolled through my photos. I think girl crush and waiting room are self explanatory. I wrote them both in one night after I watched the Grammys this year. Somehow it is pathetic how Harry is my only muse, but I think it is a good way to close this whole chapter. All of the boys have been putting out music for the past years and I am still stuck writing my first album. Maybe that's why it is so hard to keep up with them.
I will have to run into the real studio of Columbia, because I have to record some final songs and then it can get pressed on to vinyls, cds and I can release it to the world.
