Vicious people doing despicable things

4 You broke me first

Mark

Ugh. Rich people and their whims.

I let this thing with Nam go way too far.

Meeting his parents? What would I do surrounded by business moguls? Talk about stock market? Oil prices? All while eating foie gras canopies? Absurd. Everyone would laugh at me. This is all just a joke to him. He doesn't take anything seriously. Like when he calls me Love, I hate it so much because he doesn't mean it, the word doesn't mean anything to him. And now, he just wants to have a good ol' laugh at a poor philistine struggling to choose the right spoon at a fucking soiree. I hate it.

"Here," Luc sets a plate with fresh spring rolls on the table in front of me. "New recipe. P'Tin says we can put it on the menu next week," he says proudly.

I'm sitting in their fancy-ass kitchen, watching Luc being in his element – juggling knives and pans and eggplants so fast and gracefully. He looks happy. His life changed a lot the past few months. He's studying at university, got a job at a high-end restaurant, living with Fort in this posh condo. I should be happy for him. And I am. I am very happy and proud of him. But I also miss the times when Luc belonged only to me. When I still had hope. Now it's all gone. He's moved on, but I'm still me, still a failure with nothing but memories and dead hopes. And I'm still jealous and hurting, because how can I not be, when someone I love with my whole heart is in love and happy with someone else? My chest feels tight and hollow, but it's okay. It doesn't matter. When I smile at Luc, it's genuine. If a litter bitter-sweet.

"Delicious," I say, chewing on the roll. "You cooked up a whole feast." My eyes emphatically roam the table with stir-fried veggies, sweet and sour fish, papaya salad, and grilled shrimps.

"It's far more fun than reading medical books." He makes a face.

"You are the smartest person I know, Lu. You can handle the med school," I say, because it's true.

"Me? Smart?" He looks at me dubiously. "Did you forget the time when I thought prawns were baby lobsters?" That cracks me up. I cover my mouth not to spit out the food.

I swallow and say, "Or when you believed you could jump between roofs, if you speed up fast enough on your skate." Luc playfully hits me with his spoon.

"Who jumped between roofs?" Fort emerges from another room. I didn't know he was at home. Will I ever going to stop feeling like shit every time I see him? Like, he's a living proof of how much I suck. How much I'm not good enough.

"Ai Ton!" Luc says quickly to him and then whispers to me, "Well, the idea was his." I grin. Fort will never have what we had. He'll never be part of those memories. There will always be things in Luc's life that belong only to me.

"Good old times," I say, wiping off imaginary tears.

"We should do a reunion," Luc whispers. "You, me, and Ton. The Kites tribute act!"

I laugh and I'm surprised how easy it is. I've missed him so much. He's my best friend in the world and this will never change. "Yeah. Let's rob a bank!" I say, and I feel dizzy with relief and happiness of just spending time with Luc again.

He bursts out laughing, covering his face with his hands. "No, no, no," he says, still choking on the laughter. "Let's blow it up!"

I drop my head onto my arm, resting on the table and stifle a giggle. "No more explosives, please!"

And yeah, it's good that we can joke about it because that part of our lives is in the past. We are safe and free now, away from the mob world, dangerous missions, and double lives. The excitement of doing all this with Luc was fun and intoxicating. But it's good it's over now. I'm glad Luc's not a Kite anymore.