Vicious people doing despicable things

9 All of me

Nam

This is a mistake.

I should've taken Mark with me. But I can't drag him along with me all the time. He'll get sick of me and hate me. And I have a feeling, that taking your potentially future boyfriend to meet your ex-boyfriend isn't a good idea.

I should've told Yong to fuck right off. Or block him. And leave him on read.

But there's this little nagging voice in my head, telling me it might be the closure I needed for so long. I want to forgive him. I want to see a glimpse of Yong, I used to love, and know that this wasn't just a naïve little kid idolizing his first boyfriend. It was real. And I desperately want to believe that there's still a chance for me to escape the path my dear father is pushing me towards. I just need to know where Yong stumbled and why he sold his soul to a devil, so I could look for signs and avoid it maybe.

Yong is already in the café, sitting at a table in a corner away from the windows. My guess is he doesn't want my father to find out he's meeting me. That makes me smile.

I steel myself before sliding into a chair across the table from him.

"Nam," he says nervously. "Hi." I acknowledge his existence with a cold gaze. "I ordered a dark chocolate caramel milkshake for you."

Lovely. He remembers my love for chocolate.

"I'm on a low-carb diet," I say, pushing the glass away from me.

"Of course."

"I don't have much time," I say coldly, trying not to look at the swirls of caramel around the dark marble of the milkshake and the condensation droplets running down the glass to the coaster. I want this milkshake so freaking much.

"Sure." Yong takes a sip of his drink and clears his throat. "So, I read your emails." I do my best to look bored. "I'm sorry I did it only now."

"Whatever. Why am I here?"

He drops his head, fingers tapping on his glass. "I don't want you to marry Som. She doesn't deserve this."

"And I do."

"No. You don't." He shakes his head and then looks up. "I'm on your side."

"Really? I thought I used you, and one day I will understand, and all that shit."

There's a long moment of charged silence before he finally says, "I thought you never loved me." He looks sad. Defeated. "Khun Sadtip said you used me to get his attention. He said you wanted to get me fired just to accuse him of homophobia. He said you weren't gay and you had a girlfriend and all that was just a joke to you." That startles a laugh out of me. It's sour and cold. Yong looks at me, guilty and sad. "He threatened me with scandal and promised a lot of money if I left you alone."

"And you believed him." I lean against the back of my chair, arms crossed over my chest.

"It's not like you never lied to me." He meets my ice-cold stare with his I-know-you-aren't-innocent one.

"Great," I snap. "Accuse me of all the deadly sins if it makes you feel better."

"All I'm saying is that, at that time, it was his word against yours, and you were a kid." He doesn't say anything for a couple minutes. I still feel betrayed and I can't forgive him yet. Me, being a kid, isn't a reasonable excuse for him to become an asshole. He takes a deep breath and looks up at me. "I have a plan."

"Of course you do. You are my father's strategist. I remember."

"No. A plan for you to get out of this scam marriage." I keep my expression blank. I want him to know I'm still pissed, but I wave my fingers to signal that I'm ready to listen. Yong nods a few times and finishes his tea before saying anything. "Okay. Khun Sadtip is extremely vulnerable during the campaign," he starts and it looks like he wakes up from a dream. His face changes. He's more focused, alert, and – okay, I admit it – handsome. Damn it, he still has it. Especially when he's in his element – policies, strategies, scheming. "He wants to create the perfect image of a perfect family man who loves and cares about his children the same way he wants to care about all Bangkokians. But at the moment, the electorate sees him as an old man with ancient beliefs and an old-money mindset." He sighs. "Which is true." He sips on his drink and I have no idea where he's going with all this. He looks up at me and says, "You can change it. If you...," he trails off, suddenly nervous again. "This is a big thing," he says softly, "I understand. But if you come out publicly, we can make it work. I can persuade him that this is an excellent chance to win LGBTQIA+ and liberal votes."