Vicious people doing despicable things

15 Through dark waters

Mark

Mom is fine - just smoke inhalation. The doctor said they'll discharge her today. Dad is still in ICU. Mom said he fell when they were getting out of the burning building. Another heart attack. They don't tell me anything more.

I have savings. It's enough to cover medical bills. But I have no idea how we are going to pull off the renovation. The store is ruined. Everything is burned and damaged. Where are we going to live now?

I was supposed to help them. To look after them. And yet, I brought on this whole mess.

An arson. Police are looking for suspects. They won't find them, of course. It's Sadtip. This is a no-brainer.

Nam has left. He said he had something to do. I don't know. I'm glad he's not here. I can't look at him. I know this is not his fault. I know. But I can't help but blame him as well. I blame everyone.

I'm angry at everyone.

P'Milk for asking me to talk to him about moving abroad.

Ai Fort for telling me to keep him safe.

Sadtip, of course, for everything.

Luc for bringing Nam into my life.

I'm so tired.

I don't want to play Nam's games with his father. I can't risk the health of my parents. A wedding? Absurd. Everyone would just laugh at me. Everyone would hate me. I'm no one. I'm a joke.

I have to concentrate on my career. The first album and the tour. We need new songs. We need musicians.

I have to make enough money to afford a new place for my parents.

I don't have time for Nam and the rich people drama. He should go to London. I should look after my parents. No matter how much it hurts, I have to let him go, because now is not the right time. Maybe we will meet again one day. Maybe we will have another chance.

I must've dozed off because when I open my eyes, Nam is sitting next to me with my head resting against his shoulder. I jolt upright.

He gives me a sad, guilty smile. And it makes me sick, because he didn't do anything wrong, but it's still his fault. And I love him so much, but I have to let him go to save us all. P'Milk will take care of him. He'll forget me. He'll meet someone better. It's going to be fine. I'll survive. I've got Luc and Ton.

"I've brought you breakfast," Nam says, holding up a plastic bag with Styrofoam containers. I shake my head. My throat feels tight, and my stomach is tied in knots. Any food will go right back up. "I talked to my mom," Nam says, opening a container and pushing a plastic spoon into my hand. I want to say I'm glad he talked to his mom. Good for him. But my mouth forgot how to form words. "She says your parents can live in her house in Saraburi for now. She says she would use some company, as it feels quite lonely there."

"Thanks," I croak. "But I can find something myself." I try to say it with as much confidence as I can, but my voice sounds weak and hoarse.

"Non-negotiable," Nam says sharply. I growl. He's insufferable. I open my mouth to protest, but he doesn't let me. "Mom approved the wedding. And she promised to help with planning but wanted to meet you first. So we have to—"

"Stop," I snap, standing up. The plastic spoon falls to the floor. "I won't marry you." His nostrils flare. He stares at me like I've just slapped him. He's in the Ekekekekek T-shirt and shorts I bought him. He looks like a kid – cute and innocent. I can't. I have to look away. A nurse throws a wary look our way. "You can't be serious about this," I say softer, dropping my gaze to the floor and his ridiculous rainbow shoes. "What if your father decides to retaliate? He'll hurt my parents." I shake my head. "I can't let that happen. We've already lost everything because of you." The words sting my throat as soon as I let them out. I'm shaking and breathless. "This," I wave my hand in the space between us, "This was fun," I say like it doesn't break my heart into a million pieces. "But it doesn't feel like fun anymore. We are too young to get married. I never signed up for any of this. Especially not a wedding with press and ambassadors. This is too much. I don't want to be part of it. I don't want this in my life. I have more important things to worry about." I say it all, staring at his legs, pretending I'm someone else. Someone who can casually drop the L world and then forget about it. I swallow around the lump in my throat. "Let's break up." Here, I said it. I feel like I've dumped a pile of garbage onto his head. I make myself glance at him. He inhales sharply. His eyes are shiny. I can't take it. I just walk away.