Playing Pretend

36| Same boat

Sebastian

I paced back and forth in my room conflicted on the deal I've made. It was either that or death, it wasn't a hard choice to make.

A knock at the door jolted me from my thoughts.

"Honey," my mom's voice came softly from the other side.

I opened the door. "Did you need something?"

"I just wanted to check on you..." She reached out and gently touched the bruise on my cheek. "Did he..."

"Yes, he did." I pushed her hand away sharply.

"I'm sorry this is all my fault." Her eyes were filled with hurt, but it only ignited my anger.

"Of course it's all your fault! You know what he's capable of, and yet you stay with him!" I snapped, the frustration boiling over.

My mom flinched at my outburst, her eyes welling up with tears. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "I'm doing my best to make things work, but I know it's not enough."

"Yeah no fucking shit."My voice grew louder, "Every time you choose to stay, it's like you're slapping me in the face! Literally!" I gestured towards my bruised face. "You're supposed to protect me, but you've failed."

I paced around the room, my fists clenched so tightly my knuckles turned white. "I'm becoming him, you know that? I feel the same shit inside of me, It's eating me alive, and it's all because you let him walk all over us!"

I punched the wall with all my strength, the impact leaving my knuckles throbbing and the room echoing with the sound. "I fucking hate him! I hate you! I hate this whole messed-up life we're trapped in!"

"Please Sebastian calm down..." she reached out for me but I pushed her away.

I paced furiously, every step driven by the whirlwind of my emotions. I grabbed a nearby lamp and hurled it against the wall, the crash making her flinch.

"Do you see what you've done? Do you see what you've turned me into?"

Her eyes widened in fear as she stepped back, but I didn't care. My anger had consumed me entirely. "I'm done with this! I'm done with everything! I don't care anymore!"

I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me with a force that rattled the frame. I stormed through the house and yanked open the front door, stepping out into the morning air. Without a word, I made my way to my car, the driveway a blur of shadowy outlines and flickering streetlights.

I flung open the driver's side door and climbed into the seat, the leather cold beneath me. Fumbling in the glove box, I pulled out a bag of weed and a blunt. My hands shook as I rolled the blunt and lit it, the flame flickering in the darkness. I took a long drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs, and leaned back against the seat.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, I grabbed it. It was a message from Ace: When are we going to do this? I need the money soon.

I turned it off and threw it to the passengers seat. I banged on the steering wheel, why am I so conflicted. He's nothing but fucking shit.

I turned on the car and pulled out of the long drive-way. I made my way to school, and now I have to deal with this shit. I parked and looked to my right to see Brenda driving around the parking lot, oblivious to the five spots that are open next to me. I guess she's still mad, whatever.