Everything is shit rn
I have this online friend who we'll call 🔥 for privacy reasons
Me and my school friend group have two group chats, a small one for people who actually hang out together, and a second bigger group chat for ourselves and external friends and partners.
There's this girl we'll call 🐈. She hates me cause I exist, she is in said friend group, I hate her too. The difference is, I am nice to her. Here is an interaction we had a few days ago.
The start of school, before the bell rings for us to go inside.
Me: resting my head on our friend 🏎️s shoulder.
🐈: arrives
Erm guys, there's no where for me to sit...🏎️: it's okay bae, just sit on my lap
🐈:ugh well I would if [my name] would just budge up.
(She said this in a really rude voice, I might add)
Me: Sorry, yeah I will
Moves to the sideAND EVERYONE JUST IGNORED IT AS IF SHE HADN'T JUST BEEN SO RUDE TO ME.
I don't want to hate her, but I hate her.
So, today, I asked if I could add my friend 🔥 to the big Groupchat, seeing as our friend 🐈⬛ had added one of her other friends.
I was told I could, so I did!
My friends are the sort of people who make jokes such as "I'm going to touch you" yk? But then they started being such fucking hypocrites about the jokes that 🔥 was making, calling him icky and even slurs.
🐈 Removed him from the group, and I asked why, as he hadn't done anything wrong.
🐈 Then proceeded to remove me.
🐈 Then proceeded to argue with 🔥 privately, telling him that everyone found him annoying.
🐈 Sent him screenshots of her and 🏎️s conversations, she deleted most of these, but 🔥 managed to send me one, when I realised it was 🏎️, my best friend, someone I call my brother, had been saying this, I started crying.
In the Groupchat, 🏎️ and another member 👻, both have the exact same profile picture.
Ofc 🔥 hadn't memorised all the numbers of people in the GC, he'd been there only 40 minutes, he hadn't saved any.
Not knowing who is who, he messages 👻 instead of 🏎️.
👻 Then proceeded to call him "retard" and saying it's just a word. Everyone in this situation is neurodivergent.
👻 And 🏎️ seem to have some weird internalised ableism cause what the fuck are they on.
I HATE the word retard with a passion, as does 🔥, as he used to be bullied really badly.
I hate them all, except 🔥, I love him so much he is genuinely my best friend, someone I can act like myself around, and to see these people I consider my friends being so rude to him has made me see them in a whole new light.
As I post this, it is now 8/9/24, it is 🏎️s birthday. 🏎️, 👻, me and two other people are going into the city to celebrate.
I do not want to go, but my parents don't want me to have social media, so I'm unable to explain any of this to them.
I am so fucking mad at 🏎️ but I can't show it.
I want to punch 🐈 in the face.
Night gang :((
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a girl from Manchester
RandomThis is just kind of an online diary for you guys even though no one will read it :33