the art within

chapter four: shaded edges

the edges of a story are never as clear as its center. in the shadows, truths are hidden, waiting to be revealed.

jae sat at his desk, the soft glow of his over head desk lamp casting shadows across his cluttered workspace.

the laptop, in between study material and essays, was already fully charged, only waiting for jae to get started with the next chapter of his story "veins of ink".

this novel was about jae's past. how he started writing and what kept his head up at darkest times.

all of his readers thought it was pure fiction, but they didn't know the college student writing this book in inner pain.

taking a deep breath, he walked to his desk, sat down, and let his fingers dance over his laptop's keyboard.

the room was silent, save for the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on the keyboard, matching the sound of the raindrops falling on the window of his room. the words on the screen seemed to blur together, a testament to the emotional strain he was under.

as both a student and an anonymous writer, jae felt like he was living in two worlds. by day, he navigated the complexities of academic life, trying to balance his studies with his hidden passion.

by night, he poured his thoughts into his writing, crafting stories under the cover of anonymity.

the fear of his dual identity being exposed gnawed at him. he longed for recognition but was terrified of the consequences that might follow.

the pressure to maintain his secret and the fear of not being understood weighed heavily on him. as he stared at the screen, jae wrestled with his ambitions and the isolation that came with his double life.

it was a strange kind of loneliness, living with such a big part of himself locked away from everyone he knew.

the fear of revealing his true identity was ever-present, gnawing at him. what if his writing was discovered? what if people found out who he really was? the thought of their judgment, or worse, their indifference, was almost too much to bear.

he glanced at his unfinished manuscript, feeling the weight of his aspirations and the fear of never being recognized for his work. the dichotomy of his life—the public and the private, the known and the unknown—felt like it was closing in on him.

he was lonely.

his mindset was that if nobody was close to him, then nobody could ever hurt him.

but he was already hurt. hurt from the never ending expectations and competition.
and simply cold and hurt from his loneliness.

of course he had a roommate and classmates, but he always made sure that if he even talked to them, it was only small talk.

jae had nobody but himself, his memories, his stories, and the soothing darkness.

as the main character of "veins of ink", kai, climbed up a mountain, leaving everything behind that he had left, jae felt tears rise up in him.

he too had sacrificed everything for a dream that wasn't sure to come true.

he wanted to write, so bad he even lied to his parents. they wanted jae to be a lawyer or a doctor, not a writer, so he took literature classes secretly and published under a pseudonym.

the emotionality of his story, mixed with jae's bitter memories and uncertain future, made him want to cry so badly.

but he didn't

jae never cried. it became a rule for him to do so, and he took it seriously.

crying was for weak people, at least that was what he was told.

so he just kept to himself and poured all of his feelings in his literature, the only escape from the reality for jae.

jae knew that though his literature was his only escape, it wasn't only his escape.

he loved that he could provide a safe space for his readers, allowing them to drift into universes that jae painted with his words.

he gave others what he wished someone had given him, when jae needed it the most.

hope.

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Hi people,
Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did when I wrote it :)

I'm thinking on publishing every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday so stay tuned

Be healthy and happy and see you in the next chapter :)