illicit affairs

Part 3

"Do you remember when you used to say you wanted to be a cat?" Your mother asks. You nod, but you want to sink through the ground. Because why is she telling this? In front of Joe? Your fake boyfriend.

You don't understand why your mother has to tell such an uncomfortable story from your childhood. You're already embarrassed and it's only with Joe, but what would it be like if she did this with a real boyfriend.

So this is why you don't date.

Joe laughs at what your mother just said, so you can't do anything but laugh too. He turns his head towards you and smiles at you. "Did you really wanted that?" He asks.

You chuckle and nod. You have no choice but to answer this, because your parents are sitting at the table watching you. Both waiting for what you have to say about this.

"Yes." You breathe out. With your eyes you give him a sign that you feel uncomfortable, but he doesn't realize that. He continues to stare at you while smiling, as if he wants to say something to you.

"But why?" He adds. He thinks this is a funny story and wants to know more about it and understand everything. Yet you think completely differently about that. You expected this visit completely differently.

You thought your mother could finally act normal. That she did at first when you introduced Joe to her as your boyfriend. But once you all sat down at the table and started eating pastries, everything changed.

First she started talking about what you were like as a child. Very wild and fearless, which often meant you came home in a lot of pain. But then she started to tell stories you wish Joe hadn't heard them. Well, you know Joe wouldn't judge you. But it's the way your mother tells it that makes it more uncomfortable.

"I think I was half-serious at that young age. I remember thinking they didn't have to do anything and just sleep all day. I was just an idiot." You laugh at yourself.

But while you laugh you unnoticed squeeze Joe's hand under the table. That way you get your attention. Again you try to give him the same sign and this time you are successful.

He notices that you feel uncomfortable. That's why he knows what to do.

He grabs your chair and pulls it closer to him with your weight on it. Never in your entire life have you seen something that makes you so excited. Now that you're sitting so close to him, he puts his arm over the back of the chair while you lean closer to him.

You will never dare to admit it, but the action he just did did something to you. You briefly felt a feeling you've never felt for him before. You don't dare to look at him because you are afraid that otherwise you would give in because he has done to you.

But all you can do is squeeze your thighs, only they can sit comfortably. Because you don't know what or how he did that, but you have a feeling in your stomach and something underneath that feels warm. One that you haven't felt in a long time.

Your mother saw his movement and can't help but grin, but you actually don't want to know what's going on in your head.

"Tell me, how did you become anything? Because you were just flatmates, right?" She asks. The emphasis on what you always told her.

Because before this whole thing, your mother would sometimes ask about Joe and how you two could possibly become something. But you always told her it will never happen because he's just your flatmate.

Joe smiles because he can finally tell the story you've prepared.

"It started when we both came home from a night out." He begins, he has made sure that both your parents listen to him. "We both drank too much, we were literally wasted." He says. But in your mind you hit him because why did he have to add that?