The Hybrid

23: Willow

Olivia's words confuse me. When had he said I was different? Had they talked about me when I wasn't around?

Of course, they've talked about me when I wasn't around, but in what context? What did they mean by calling me different and that he can't treat me like everybody else? Was it related to me being a hybrid? That seems far too simple to be the answer. The way Olivia spoke, her tone, the way Beck paused when she called me different. Surely, they had to be referring to more than just me being a hybrid.

But, does it even matter?

Beck thinks I'm stupid, dumb, and naive. He thinks I'm just as stupid as I feel. My attempt at helping him completely backfired. Maybe what I did was careless, but I was only trying to do what I thought was right. I thought he'd see that. Never in a million years had I even considered he would go off on me the way he just did.

His face twisted in rage, how he yelled at me, how Christie sat back with a giant smile on her face kept replaying in my head like a bad dream. I just wanna curl up in a ball and will the ground to open and swallow me up. The emptiness of knowing my mate is upset with me is a harrowing feeling, nothing like I thought it would be. Oddly, even though I still don't 100% think what I did was wrong, I feel the need to find Beck, throw myself at his feet, and beg for forgiveness. My brain is telling me to stand my ground while the bond is telling me to go to our mate and fix whatever has been broken between us, not that we were ever really whole. The feelings are so polarizing, that my head hurts. Or maybe that's just a side effect of the blood loss.

I don't know. I'm starting to feel like I don't know anything for certain anymore, not even my feelings.

"Are you okay? Olivia turns to me with concerned eyes.

No.

"Yeah, I'm alright." I nod, swiping at my face a few more times to get rid of any leftover tears.

"I'm so sorry for my son's behavior, Willow. I don't know what's gotten into him," The king says, shaking his head.

"Maybe he's tired of all of your coddling her," Christie smirks, shrugging.

Olivia glares, her nostrils flaring as she turns on Christie, "Why are you still here?"

Christie shrugs again, "I'm kind of enjoying all this. I'm hoping to milk it for all it's worth. Only lord knows when we'll get the chance to see Wolfie put in her place again with all of you rallying behind her now."

Her words sting, but I can't bring myself to tears anymore. She thinks I'm weak. So does Beck. Their one assumption I've tried so hard to disprove has been proven over and over again since I've been here. I am weak, crippled by the bond that tethers me to him. I'd do anything for him, for his approval, even now. I probably reek of desperation to them. All this time I've been trying so hard to get him to feel something more for me, to see me and they've probably just been laughing at me and my stupid naivete since I got here. 

The thought makes me physically cringe.

I thought something had finally shifted in Beck and I's relationship, but it's more clear than ever now that I was wrong. Beck doesn't want me and he doesn't need me either. 

"Just get out," Olivia says, waving her arm in the direction of the exit, "I don't know why you were here in the first place."

Christie hums and looks up, tapping her chin as if contemplating, "Me either, but I'm glad I was. It's about time he finally let her have it."

Olivia takes a step in Christie's direction, but Bennett is quick to jump into action. Putting his hands on her hips and blocking her path with his body, he looks down at her and shakes his head, "Don't. It's not worth it."

"Then make her leave," Olivia says through clenched teeth. 

Olivia's anger shocks me. I've never seen her this way, so upset. If she were arguing with anyone else in my defense, I'd feel flattered that she cares so much. I've never had anyone come to my defense so fiercely aside from my mother. I'm grateful for her passion, however, I can't shake the shame that settles in my gut. The rift I'm causing amongst friends sickens me.

"Go, Christie," Bennett says, glancing over his shoulder, "Now." He adds when Christie doesn't budge.

She glares at Olivia once more around Bennetts body before leaving in a huff.

Finally, some of the tension in the air ceases, and looking around the room, I can see the physical effect it has on those around me. All three of them sagging in relief now that the sources of most of the tension have left.

"I'm going to go find your brother and try to talk some sense into him," The king says to Bennett and then turns to me, "Again, Willow, I'm so sorry for the way Beck acted today..." He hesitates before he speaks again, "And I'm sure it doesn't mean much after everything he just said, but I truly believe his anger came from a place of caring. He's just worried about you, but he doesn't know how to say things like that." He offers me a small, sheepish, smile, his grey eyes that remind me so much of Beck's crinkling at the sides with it.

He leaves shortly after, but his words still linger. They perplex me. I don't understand how Beck ripping me a new one could be confused with him caring. Sure, he made it clear he never wanted me to do something like that again for safety purposes but was him calling me stupid and dumb really his version of showing affection? Is that how it goes? Do people do that?

Perhaps this is what people mean when they say, 'tough love'. If that's so, I don't think I want it.