Things My Heart Used To Know

Chapter 3 - Don't Turn Back Now That We're Here

Author's Note: After this chapter, there's going to be a short time skip, just so you all know. :)

Also, idk when I'm going to keep posting again because I'm trying to get the next arc edited still lol. But I definitely will keep posting eventually :)

~ Tirana Sorki

When Anakin awakens with a start in the middle of the night, he doesn't know at first what it was that woke him. Something feels off in the energy around him though he doesn't think something's actually wrong. It's more elusive and he sits up, staring into the darkness of the attic to see if he can pick up on anything.

Stars dot the sky outside and seeing them always sends a pang of longing stabbing through him. But it also makes the realization of what's wrong actually hit him.

Engel.

There's something...

He nudges at the mental connection he feels with him. It's an odd sensation but something he notices he starts to get with anyone he spends a lot of time around.

There's definitely something going on with him. He seems upset and hurt and afraid at once and it immediately makes Anakin anxious. He doesn't want anything to happen to him. He might hardly even know the man but he – he feels important. Maybe it's half because he reminds him of Palpatine but still.

Anakin's hands fumble for his comm, picking it up. He hasn't called him on this number yet but –

Of course there's also the chance that nothing's wrong at all and he'll actually be really annoyed about Anakin calling him in the middle of the night but he doesn't know that. All he does know is what he's feeling and it doesn't feel right to just do nothing. What if he actually needs help?

Anakin hesitates for only a few minutes longer, until what feels like the worst of Engel's fear is starting to fade – though in its place seems to be coming a gutting grief and pain and longing and that's even more worrying.

Fine.

He'll just do it.

He's still feeling unreasonably nervous when he dials the frequency. He nearly jumps when it's answered on only the second ring.

Engel's shadowy figure appears on the other end of the hologram. It looks like he just woke up too. "Anakin?" he asks, sounding surprised and slightly confused. He also sounds like he's crying. It makes something twist violently inside of Anakin. Why is he – What's wrong?

"I – Is something happening? I sensed you were upset."

"It was just a nightmare," Engel replies. He can hear him breathing in and out unevenly a few times, clearly trying to get himself back under control. Anakin's almost surprised he's willing to talk to him about it when he doesn't even know him, all things considered.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" he asks. He's pretty sure he distracted the Togruta girl all the time from nightmares. He vaguely remembers instances of both his parents helping him with that too.

Engel breathes out heavily. "It was a speeder accident," he replies finally, "I don't know if anyone else was there but I fell into a river. I was being dragged by a current. I nearly got washed to shore at some point. I was clinging onto it and – a woman pulled me out." He sighs. "It... wasn't a dream. I was there. That happened. I – I remember that now."

Anakin wishes he was there in person, so he could... help better. "I'm sorry to... hear that," Anakin tells him finally, "Did you find your way home?" That's important. The accident sounds awful though he knows things like that happen.