Silent Solitude

Chapter 16 - R

There was something inside of every person's core that convinced them of what was good and what was bad. A moral compass, a belief system, a conscience.

I knew several people who lacked that part of them. Whether is was cast out by trauma or whatever else could cause you to do the fucked up shit you did, I didn't give a damn. Adults and teenagers, they weren't so different without that vital piece of heart that made them human.

For example: Gregory Conroy.

He was a heartless bastard who hit his wife and cracked his son's ribs in half. There wasn't an ounce of humanity inside of him. The vital piece of heart was nonexistent inside the hollow chest of his. He was the worst of what life had to offer.

Another example: Aiden Kavinsky.

Although he was a teenager and some could argue that he was still a child, even toddlers could tell right from wrong. They had the decency to cry when they were uncomfortable, and despite not having complete control over their emotions or motor skills, they would never intentionally harm someone. I was convinced that Aiden Kavinsky must have had a really shitty fucking childhood or he was psychotic. Nothing could excuse the conscious choice that he had made, deliberately hurting a girl who was cracked and battered at the edges. Pushing someone off a cliff like that, the rope that held them up barely holding on. His lungs were wasting oxygen by giving him air.

Throughout the eighteen years of my life that I had gained the ability to think for myself, I had seen a lot of deranged and fucked up stuff. But rape was tied with abuse.

Taking away somebody's will, their right, their choice. Hurting someone for your own pleasure and desire, made me sick.

It was no mystery as to why the girl tucked under my arm acted the way she did. Defensive, skittish, loosely dependent on substance. It all checked out once you discovered just how much she had to have endured, even just the last two years.

She was brave. Far braver than I ever could have been.

It was a few minutes later when I realized that I hadn't had my tea tonight. My throat ached for water. As gently as I could, I set Josephine down—she'd fallen asleep shortly after Friar Lawrence met with Romeo and Juliet and married them. I padded down to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water and set one down for Josephine. I really did think I'd been quiet as a mouse, but as I settled back onto the couch, she stirred.

"Hey," I said softly.

She blinked the sleep away. "Hi."

"Sorry, I woke you. I thought I was being quiet."

She sniffed, "I'm a light sleeper."

"Figures."

"Is Austin back yet?"

I shook my head. "I think he's going to come back in the morning."

"Oh," she sighed before sitting upright. "How is the view from your backyard?"

My mouth quirked up, "You have to ask? It's pretty damn nice. We're in North Carolina. You can see the stars from any direction."

That made her smile. A small, but genuine smile. "Well? What are we waiting for?"

With a breathy laugh, my eyes followed her hands as she pulled me from the couch and to the back deck.

I hadn't been out here in a while. It was much too hot to do anything outside, and since the beach was so close, my time was usually spent there. Luckily, there was a little breeze this late into the night, so the heat didn't prickle my skin enough to sour my mood.

We sat on the edge of the deck's wooden floor, legs swinging in unison. Josephine hesitantly pulled out a cigarette, lighting it while avoiding my gaze. She thought I cared whether she smoked or not. That much was clear. I wasn't sure why though, she hadn't seemed as bothered in the car when I'd taken her home from the bar.

I pulled out my phone, pressing play on a playlist I'd made for her in return for the one she'd sent me. I hadn't shown her yet, I would probably send it to her tonight when she fell asleep. The Few Things by JP Saze starts to play, a song I discovered the other day.

"I know this one," she said finally, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

She nodded, "But my favorite by him is 'Everything Ends', it's on the playlist I sent you, we didn't get to it in the car though." When she realized that she'd brought up the message, she flushed and took a long pull of her cigarette.

"I listened to all the songs," I told her. At her bewildered expression, I couldn't help but tease her, "Put a lot of thought into it didn't you?"

I said that like we weren't listening to a playlist I'd made for her the same night.

She nudged my shoulder, face red with embarrassment, "Fuck off,"

"So," I started, glancing up at the sky, "How's the view?"

Following my actions, she does the same. Her hair brushes my arm back and forth as she leans back onto her palms behind her. "Pretty good if you ask me."

I could see it on her face then, how the stars above us calmed her. The muscles in her body seemed to relax and her mouth was parted just slightly. This was the most relaxed I'd seen her.

It took every bone in my body not to kiss her then. Because I wanted to. I really wanted to. But, I wanted her to enjoy this moment more, I wouldn't risk making it uncomfortable.

Josephine seemed to zone back in, blinking hard. "I could stay here for the rest of my life. In this exact moment."

"So could I."

I wasn't sure if we were talking about the same thing. 

Likes and comments are always appreciated! This is a short one, so may post tomorrow as well! Keep your eyes peeled