Silent Solitude

Chapter 18

I stared at the eyes that belonged to me, identical, but they weren't mine.

"Hey Mom," I greeted. I just needed to go up. Roman was outside, I knew he'd wait. I pushed forward and ignored my mother's gaze trailing me as I walked up the stairs.

I forced myself to keep my eyes forward.

Don't look at her.

Don't look.

I made it to my room and stood shaking out my nerves while also finding something to wear. I found a clean red tank top and some jeans, throwing the clothes I was currently in, into a random tote bag.

"Fuck," I swore under my breath as I stared at my torso in the mirror. By my hip, there was bruising, light like watercolor against my skin, from where he had grabbed me. My breath hitched as I made note of a couple of other ones, near my belly button, when he'd pulled me closer. I didn't dare look any lower. Moving past the mirror, I quickly curled my lashes and applied mascara and eyeliner. It was fine, I told myself. I was fine.

After I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder with my tote bag, I attempted to creep out undetected back to Roman. It was almost comical. I poked my head out the bedroom door and snuck down the stairs.

Deflated but not surprised, my mother was still standing in the hall, bowl set down.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Out," I replied tersely.

Her lips rolled together the way they did when she was annoyed. "Don't play smart Josephine. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the bookstore."

"Go later. Come sit and talk to your father and I—"

"No, Mom."

She continued as if I hadn't spoken. "We're worried about you."

Help Help Help Help. My lungs seize up in an effort not to yell out, and I desperately will myself not to cry. I would not look weak in front of her.

A knock effectively stopped our conversation.

My mother frowned and walked to the door, opening it before I even got the chance.

"Hello, who might you be?"

"I'm Roman, ma'am, we met briefly at the Levine's for breakfast."

I shook my head, what was he doing?

"Well Roman, I'm afraid now isn't a good time—"

The door was barely open, but I moved behind my mother to meet his gaze. I wondered if he could see the desperation in me as I silently pleaded for him to both help me and leave.

"I don't mean to interrupt," he told her with a slight chill, contradicting himself as he did just that, "But I was going to take Josephine to see some books."

My mother looked at me. I couldn't read her expression.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea," she stated.

Roman looked at me.

I stared back helplessly.

Get me out.

"With all due respect Mrs. Cerrone, Josephine was talking about going to this bookstore the entirety of yesterday. She is also legally an adult, so technically, she's able to do whatever she pleases."

Despite all of this, Roman was unaware that my mother had a special ability to tune out things she didn't want to hear. "You were with her yesterday? Was that the reason she didn't come home?"