But It's Not My Fault

CHAPTER 6

ETHAN POV

It's so true when they say that "It's a small world". You never know when you will cross paths to someone you never even imagined to do. The day when I saw her in that bookstore, I never imagined I would see her again at least not as my boss. When, I got a call informing me that I passed the first phase of my interview I was beyond happy. 

In my entire life, I have never achieved anything, I was never a rich brat, but I wasn't also a bright kid. Just go with the flow kind of kid. Even, last time where I was working, I actually got that because of Ben's help. 

And you know, you don't value something which you didn't get on your own hard work, so exactly this has what happened my entire life. When I got a chance to work in that previous place, I never took it seriously as a result I was kicked out from there. 

I do understand my dad, I am his only child. So, he wants me to be responsible, hardworking person that's why he needs me to have some work experience. But don't you find it annoying that my whole life my own dad never cared a percent for me. He never asked me 'kid, how was your day today at school?' Just the way Ben's dad used to do. The only thing my dad used to say to a 10-year-old kid was 'why don't you have some intelligence? why can't you think like a businessman huh? you really, have no potential, no talent!!' 

And there I used to stand and look at him with blank expression thinking did he started his business when he was 10years old? or was it necessary for every rich businessman's kid to be brilliant from early age?

No teaching of moral values never played a role of a father all he could see in me was an heir, an heir to grow his business more. Fuck it. 

I understand everyone's emotions, doesn't matter if that person is close to me or not. Even, if a person will randomly come to me and share his feeling. Trust me, I would be helping him as if I have already gone through it and I know how it feels like to be in that place. 

But what about me?? 

There is no one who would understand me, how I feel. People come and tell how many and how deep their scars are in their heart.

But what about my heart?

What about the deepness of the scars in my heart?

What about the number of scars there are in my heart? 

Is there even a heart in there or just scars and wounds in the shape of heart?

No doubt, I have Ben, but he mostly fails to understand what I want to say. He tries very hard to comfort me in my distress condition, but he would never understand. He has parents who loved him more than anything else, a sister whose love language is fight. Sometimes, I used to get jealous but that was a long ago when I was immature but now, I feel grateful that at least I have someone whose life is as normal as I could have only imagined.  

And that question 'What about me?' will always be a question.... I guess. 

But now I have gotten so used to all this that I have stopped taking care of it. I don't care about them anymore. I heard 'always look ahead in your life no matter what'. I changed myself into a carefree, jolly sort of person. Because what if I keep on lagging with my miseries and problems and loose someone special. I definitely don't want that. 

Working as a PA is a totally different feeling to be honest. Scarlett, Scarlett Knights that's what her name is. The day I knew her name, I wasn't able to forget that name. I mean the name is so beautiful you know. Don't get me wrong.